Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Planning Makes Perfect?




We leave for Germany soon.  Yes, I’m a little freaked out.  I’ve been overwhelmed a few times over the last week and have been on the verge of some major crying outbursts but I’m managed to shake them off with only a few tears squeaking out.  I cope with stress and uncertainty by PLANNING.  List, lists, strategy and more!  So, here’s my plan for the BIG ADVENTURE!
   
Our flight leaves at 10:50pm out of BWI and is a direct flight into Ramstein.  It’s about a two hour drive up to BWI but can be longer if DC traffic throws us a curve ball. We land around 6am EST in Germany (noon in Germany) and then have a four hour drive to our new home. I’m very concerned about the kiddos being all out of “good behavior” after the drive up to the airport and the long wait to board. Plus,11pm is very late for the kids; my kids are pretty regimented when it comes to bedtimes and don't do well much after 8:30 or 9pm. (It’s a blessing that they go to bed so well but occasionally a drawback when we really need flexibility!) 

I'm planning to rent a hotel near the airport for the evening and drive-up to BWI early in the day.  After the drive, we’ll play at the hotel and swim in the pool, then dash over to the airport for an early check-in. Afterwards, we’ll grab dinner and get ready to FLY. I'm planning to dress the kids in their jammies. We may look a little goofy but I will do whatever it takes to induce bedtime sleepy thoughts for them! 



Friday, June 8, 2012

I don't know how to...


As Army Wives, we pride ourselves on our ability to do anything, when necessary.  Mechanic, landscaper, plumber, soccer coach, appliance repair, exterminator, boy scout  camp counselor and general handyman are all roles that come to mind.  While my kids aren’t old enough to do camping trips yet, I’ll lay claim to all of the above; I’m really pretty useful to have around.  My father raised a rather independent girl. He was quite the Mr. Fix-It and I was a Daddy’s Girl, so I remember tagging along on many of his adventures and some mis-adventures in various home and auto repair tasks.  I feel pretty confident with painting, caulking, basic plumbing , basic woodworking, auto repair, power tools and I’ve been known to mess around with electrical tasks, much to my father’s dismay. 

Sometimes, I feel a little bad for my husband because I tend to be like my two-year-old. “Me do it BY MYSELF!”  It’s a pride thing and, let’s be honest, it’s just sort of bad-ass to know your way around a power tool. Am I right?  

But, there are two areas where I draw the line:  I don’t mow the lawn and I don’t grill.  I know, these probably sound pretty silly to my fellow Army Wives.  I know, they aren’t hard and I could do them, but I just don’t want to. (Two Year Old: “Me NO DO IT!”)

Why don’t I mow lawns?  I’m not really sure, but I’ll go ahead and blame my parents.  For some reason, my father taught me everything except lawn mowing.  They always had my brother do it when we were teenagers.  I remember mowing once. I made one pass across the backyard and they sent my brother out to do it for me.  I’m guessing that perhaps I was doing a really terrible job?  Although, it doesn’t really seem that complicated. Regardless, I’m ok with not mowing the lawn. I didn’t particularly enjoy it...it’s sweaty, the grass sticks to you, it takes a hunk of time out of the day and it can be hard work when you’re trying to hurry or have hills in the yard.  So, I have no desire to mow the lawn. Fortunately, I’m blessed with a husband that gets tremendous satisfaction from a well mowed yard.  I know what my fellow Military Spouses are thinking: What about when he leaves, Ms. I-don’t-mow-lawns?  Well, I still don’t mow lawns.  I don’t enjoy it, so I don’t do it. I know I can’t apply that reasoning to every unpleasant task, but let’s be honest…it’s pretty easy to out-source my lawn mowing duties.  I have twenty bucks and there are teen boys that will do it for me.  Deployments come with lots of extra duties and I decided long ago that I would rather skip a few Starbucks visits than mow the lawn. 

As for grilling, I’m somewhat less adamant about that and I’m even less sure about why I don’t do it.  It wasn’t a conscious decision. It was more of a realization.  I bought steaks one day to grill, then realized my husband was in the field and I didn’t know how to work the darned thing.  And, I had no desire to learn.  I think the crux of the matter is that grilling is usually an event, a family event, a social event or a party.  It wasn’t simply a means to provide food…it was an occasion.  So, when my husband isn’t around to grill, I don’t really want to anyway.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to attending a cook out while my husband is away…I’ll certainly attend but there’s usually someone else manning the grill, my dad or a friend’s husband or something.  I don’t have to do it. 

So there it is.  I am a Proud Army Spouse – Mom, Wife and SuperWoman, but I don’t mow lawns and I don’t grill.  What do you think about that?  Are there any tasks you refuse to do?

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Why is it so heavy?

I generally think that by kid #3, I've got this Mom thing down.  I know that I don't have to haul around a suitcase of clothes and a medicine cabinet in my diaper bag since a crisis of that magnitude is rare.  So, why, oh why, do I feel like my diaper bag is slowing ripping my shoulder off?

Weapons Cache?

This is what I pulled out of my diaper bag recently.  I had a spare ten minutes and decided to clean out my bag.  Yes, clean it out...meaning I go through it looking for something other than my keys, wallet and emergency wipe and I have my hands in it longer than it takes to shove a toy inside. 

Seriously...no wonder it felt like it weighed a ton. It did.  There are five, yes FIVE, Monster Jam trucks alone in there.  Five! What on earth was I thinking?  Plus at least three other face cars, a set of LEGO wheels, two Mickey board books, a Mickey, a Daisy, two pairs of girly sunglasses and two baby rattles and a baby teething toy. 

Sheesh.

Note to self: Clean out diaper bag more often.  I haven't even mentioned how much money I found stuffed in there!

Friday, March 23, 2012

5 Tips for a Stress Free Move


Spring is in the air and I don’t know about anyone else, but for me, spring brings the promise of gorgeous weather, blooming flowers and moving trucks!  Yes, moving trucks. For me, warm weather is nearly synonymous with brightly colored moving vans, bare white walls and the smell of fresh cardboard boxes.  I currently claim 23 moves to my name, so though I might be excited by the prospect of blank walls and a house filled with cardboard and packing paper, I realize not everyone feels the same way. If you are feeling a little bit of stress about the upcoming move, here are five of my best tips for making your move successful and stress-free.

1. Plan early and often!  There’s a reason the Military loves Long Range Training Calendars and Operations Orders; they go a long way to keeping everyone on the same page and working together.  We may not always have a nice leisurely three or four months to plan a PCS, but the sooner you start working out logistics the better.  Scheduling your movers and making hotel reservations ahead of time is critical in these busy summer months.  Starting early will also help you get the info and paperwork you need for any travel advances and dislocation allowances. And, speaking of money, if you know a move is coming up, sooner is always better to start building up a tiny cushion of reserve funds to prevent that PCS money crunch.  I also like to do a little purging and organizing around the house before the packers come.  Though things get a little jumbled in the packing process, I feel like organizing ahead of time helps to ensure similar items are packed together for easy unpacking at our new home.  And don’t forget those sugar bowls and trash cans!  The movers are fast and thorough; your sugar and your trash are likely to get packed if you don’t take care of it ahead of time.  Cleaning things well before the packers come, especially things like couch cushions, carpets and high chairs, will help ensure you don’t have some additional cargo of the insect variety at your destination.  

2. Find your Security Blanket.  My security blanket during our moves is a checklist that I affectionately refer to as the “Omnibus.”  As long as I have my checklist, all is A-okay!  I call my list the “Omnibus” because it’s a series of smaller lists that I’ve merged into one and it covers all the major pre-PCS planning steps, starting about four months out from a move.  I keep the file on my computer and update it after each move with anything I forgot or needed to add. When we’re ready for our next move, I print it off, cross off things that don’t apply and I’m ready to get to work.  I leave extra space in there to add notes and new tasks to the list. I love lists, so I also have lists for packing our suitcases and car and for extra stuff we need if we are camping out in Temporary Quarters for a while. You don’t have to be quite as Type-A as I am, but I do strongly encourage some organizational system, whether it’s a file folder, a notebook, a file box or whatever works for you. PCS means lots of paperwork and lots of things on your mind.  I find great peace in knowing everything is in one place when I need it.

3. Be Kind to your Movers.  This is simple but effective. Your movers are working hard for you and you’re trusting them with all of your possessions.  If you treat them as guests in your home (very hard working guests) everyone has a better attitude and a better experience.  Plus, when you are friendly and chat with your crew, you’d be surprised about the tips and tricks you pick up from them.  I have always made an effort to provide drinks and some food for our crews.  According to the DOD contracts with the moving agencies, this is not required and the movers must bring their own supplies.  However, I remain firm that a little good will goes a long way to making your packing, loading and unloading a pleasant experience.  Over the years, I’ve tried different things – coffee and donuts, ordering pizza and various take out options.  I’ve come to two realizations – they are appreciative of any gesture you make and fast food is EXPENSIVE!  Now, my usual plan is to purchase some disposable foil pans and refrigerated cinnamon rolls for the morning and some frozen lasagna, a frozen garlic bread and a bag of salad at the commissary.   It’s very affordable, easy to pop in the oven, and tasty.  The movers love it since it’s a change from the usual fast food fare.  If your budget can’t stretch that far, even picking up a few spare bottles of water to toss in the fridge or having some extra ice on hand is a kindness that will be appreciated.
 
4.  Remember to de-stress your babies – two-legged and four-legged.  We get stressed in the PCS process and it’s easy to overlook signs of stress in your children and your pets. The changes can be scary for them and they can easily pick up on our stress.  Make a conscious effort to build in some “down time” and “fun time” for your family as you prepare to PCS and begin your travels.  It’s tempting to drive as long and as far as you can each day, but I promise you there is great value in making one day a shorter driving day and finding something to do that doesn’t involve watching the scenery fly by.  Depending on where we have been, we’ve enjoyed stops at local parks, wandering big outdoor outlet malls, splurging at an amusement park, visiting national monuments and stopping into visit friends along our travel route. 

5. Keep a sense of humor. One day, in the not-too-distant future, you will be settled in your new home and your PCS stress and adventures (and mis-adventures) will be but a memory and, eventually, most of your mis-adventures will be funny.  Until then, hang in there and keep reminding yourself that this is only temporary!  Remember, the 30 days before and 90 days after your PCS are the toughest to get through. 

Good luck and best wishes with your PCS. 

*This article appeared in the National Military Family Association's "Voice for Military Families" June/July 2012 edition. For more articles, check out www.militaryfamily.org.

Monday, February 13, 2012

You asked for it


I treated myself to some new tops from Banana Republic this week since I'm getting close to my pre-baby weight. I tried them on for Soldier to help me pick which ones to keep.

His comments:
""Wow, it makes your arms look really long"
"That looks comfy"
“You look like a farmer" regarding a cute pink plaid top that I really loved.
“Eh..the sleeves are too short” regarding a really gorgeous dress blouse that made me feel glamorous.

I gave up after that since my self-esteem was in the toilet. I explained to him afterwards that when a recently post-partum woman asks him to admire her new clothes, he should admire effusively unless it really looks horrendous. If it looks that bad, then he should heap on the praise about how skinny said woman is looking and how that top just doesn't show off her great new figure and she should buy more since she really deserves something gorgeous.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Drum Roll Please....

After many weeks of waiting, wishing, hoping and prayer for a "good" assignment from the RFO Fairy, we finally got the official word on Soldier's next duty station.  I've spent the last few weeks cautiously perusing homes near Ft Benning, GA, researching schools in the area and even looking into memberships at the local CrossFit gym to surprise Soldier.  You PCS Veterans won't be surprised to find that my effort to make this a smooth transition failed when that magic RFO said:  Hohenfels, Germany!  

Wir sind nach Deutschland gehen!!!!

[I just googled that. I hope it says "We are going to Germany!"]

SQUEEEEE!!!!

and

WOAH.
 
We've talked about an OCONUS assignment several times with Germany being tops on the list, but we just thought that was the impossible dream.  Now, it's here and we're thrilled! And yet, I'm also totally overwhelmed.  Wow, we just weren't expecting that.  I mean, we were planning a trip to Disney World in October.  I'm dreading breaking the news to my parents that we'll be in another country.  And, I don't even know where to being with this OCONUS mess.  I've turned to trusty Google but my head is swimming with terms like Command Sponsorship, EFMP Screenings, No-Fee Passports, Travel Orders, SATO, AMC, NTS, UB, GLQ, COLA, OSHA and more.  

Right now, I really wish a book would appear in front of me titled "So You Are Going to Germany: A Step by Step Guide to the OCONUS PCS."

But....back to SQUEEEEE!!! We're going to GERMANY!!! 



Thursday, February 2, 2012

Field Time


Soldier’s been doing some field time recently and I’ve had to explain to the kids why Daddy isn’t home that night.  Bunny Girl takes it in stride, but Monster Boy seems a tad concerned.  He’s old enough to remember the last deployment and when Soldier was gone for the month before BRC last year.  I’ve assured him that Daddy isn’t going that far away and that this isn’t the ““Far, Far Away” where Daddy went to protect the kids”  [That was my euphemism for deployment last time!].  I’ve realized that Monster Boy’s understanding of “in the field” is very literal. He believes Daddy is literally hanging out in a field. Specifically, I believe he thinks it is the main parade field here on post.  Here’s a sampling of Monster Boy’s questions relating to field time:

“What field is Daddy in?”

“Is there grass in Daddy’s field?”

“Why is Daddy sleeping in a field?”

“What does Daddy do on the field?”

“Does Daddy’s Humvee drive on the field?”

“Where is Daddy and his Humvee?”  [Asked as we passed the parade fields tonight.]

I’m imagining that this is Monster Boys’s mental image of field time looks something like this: A bucolic green field, with rolling hills and maybe some wildflowers scattered about, sun is shining with a few fluffy clouds drifting by.  Mike and a few other guys in uniform spend their time playing soccer and cloud-watching while lounging in the soft grass.  A Humvee lingers nearby.