Army Wives need Mentors, too!

Usually when people talk about mentors, they are talking about a professional mentor, an academic mentor or something sports or music related.  Usually a mentor-mentee relationship has some kind of talent or goal in common with each other that forms the basis for the Mentoring relationship.  Mentors are common in the Army...a senior Soldier will take a new guy under his/her wing and show them the ropes and helps them as they navigate through their Army Career.   But, for spouses and family members -- have you considered that maybe YOU need an Army Mentor, too?  

Let's be honest -- Army Life can be confusing, especially in the beginning. For those of us that have "been there, done that," I think we can all still remember what it was like to first navigate this crazy world we live in.   I've been reflecting on my first year as an Army Spouse a lot lately because my path has crossed with quite a few new Army families lately...one of the is even my own extended family!  In their faces and questions, I am reminded of my first Army experiences and have wondered how I got to a point where I felt capable navigating Army Life and teaching others about it.  I realized there were a few key people that made this possible -- they were my Army Mentors.  As a new bride, I was very, very fortunate to have crossed paths with three ladies that were pivotal in teaching me what I needed to know to manage Army life.  I remember observing conversations early on where I understood only five words:  And, Of, The, If and Or.   All the rest was acronyms, unit names/numbers, and other words that I didn't know the meaning of.  I remembering hoping my panic and confusion didn't show on my face too much.   Luckily, I had these three lovely ladies who were kind enough to answer my questions and prod me in the right direction when I wasn't asking the RIGHT questions so I could learn what I needed to know.   They showed me what Army life COULD be, if I chose to embrace it.  (I also met a few people along the way that showed me the other side of what Army life could be, but it didn't take long to realize I did NOT like the preview they gave me!)   I absorbed everything they offered...I listened, I asked questions and I still consult them when I have an Army Dilemma that is bothering me.   I firmly believe that the Army adventure for me and my family would be a LOT different had I not been privy to the knowledge and experience of these ladies.  

So, again, I pose the question to you:  Do you have an Army Mentor?  Do you have someone that's "been there, done that" and not just survived but thrived?  Do you have someone that you can turn to with questions about your Army life?   Who can you ask about careers progression?  Who can tell you about customs or what to wear to the various Army events?  Who can decode acronyms and the strange names given to units, agencies and organizations on post?  Who knows which agency or office to turn to or the right channels to get your problem resolved?  Who can help you interpret something your Soldier says or does?   Who can understand what going through a deployment or TDY separation is like?   I assure you, most of your friends back home and much of your family will NOT be able to help, though they may try.  By becoming an Army Family, we are branded and forever marked as "different" in some small way.  You need an Army Mentor to help you learn how to handle this life with grace, love and fun. 

If you haven't found an Army Mentor, I suggest you put yourself out there and try to make connections.  The FRG is a fantastic place to do this as you explore and find "your people."   Use the FRG leader, the Key Callers or other volunteers as a sounding board -- their job is to answer questions, be a knowledgeable resource for how to get things done on post and get the RIGHT answers for you, whether the question is "what to wear" or "what does this mean?"   As you explore the FRG, you may find your mentor there, you may find dear friends.  You'll also find opportunities to widen your circle of experiences and acquaintances.  The spouses clubs on post are a great place to make connections.  ACS (Army Community Service) offers classes designed just few new Army families -- Army Family Team Building.  This program is designed to be a crash-course in Army-Know-How.  I sincerely WISH I'd had the opportunity to take those courses as a new bride...I would have fit into my new life so much faster if I had!   Volunteering is another way to expand your experience--you can do this in the civilian community or on-post; Schools, Thrift Shops, youth sports programs and the like are all avenues to find people you might connect with and find an experienced spouse to serve as your Army Mentor.