Make time for SOMETHING: Body Image Pt 2

As I wrote the other day, I’ve become very convicted that my lifestyle is not as healthy as it should be.  I’m not calling this a New Year’s Resolution because I hate them…I never keep it up and then it implies I must wait until January to try again. Failure on whatever I undertake is inevitable.  No, that’s not being a Debbie Downer, it’s just realistic. If I set a goal of eating no sugar or making it to the gym three times a week, I’m going to slip and eat a cookie.  Maybe twelve.  I’m going to miss a day at the gym, probably because I’m sick or have a sick kid, or maybe all at once.  And, honestly, I’ve tried to figure out how to revamp my weekly routine to fit in gym time three times a week and I am truly at a loss. I applaud those of you that manage this because I know that if I tried, it would be unsustainable. I’d go all-in for the first week or two and then fall off hard when I hit a bump. To take a page from the annoyingly-perky FlyLady, my perfectionism is crippling me.

So, I’m NOT setting a goal to run a 5K.  I’m NOT pledging to make it to the gym once, twice or three times a week.  I’m NOT embarking on a 30 day workout or a 30 day diet overhaul.  I’m NOT doing it because I know I will get discouraged waaaaaaay before that. 

My goal is to do SOMETHING.  Because SOMETHING is better than nothing. Maybe I will be super motivated and actually set foot in the fitness center on post.   Maybe I will make time for a DVD workout with the littles….they do get a big kick out of it.  Maybe I will throw some kettlebells and practice Olympic lifts with soldier. But, maybe I will do [baby]weighted squats holding a grouchy DeeDee while I make dinner.  Maybe I will sneak in a few stretches as I sit on the floor playing babydolls or trains.  I might even work in a few pushups while I pick up Legos each night.  Just, please, don’t peek on us through the windows because that probably looks like a whole lotta strange. 

I have some fitness fanatic friends [and a husband] that would argue this is not enough.  And, I agree, it’s not and I’m not going to look like Jillian Michaels or her fabulously toned assistants.  But, for me…it’s enough. I simply want to look back at the week and be happy because because I did SOMETHING, which is an improvement over NOTHING.   

Mother of Girls: Body Image Blog Part 1

I’ve been a mother to a girl for three years and a mother to two girls for one year.  Having daughters has had me mulling over the issue of healthy body image, pretty much since we were told GIRL during the ultrasound. Before each child was born, I’ve spent time thinking about what they would be like and what I wanted to teach them.   With my first, I focused on general life skills. I wanted to teach them about love, kindness, compassion, critical thinking and integrity.  With my second, my daughter, I wanted her to have all of that but I realized I wanted her to be self-assured both in her personality and mental fortitude but also secure in the strength of her physical self. For each of my girls, I can’t say that I didn’t hope she would be pretty or that I hoped she wouldn’t struggle with weight.  I did…and I feel like it’s natural to wish unpleasantness or hurt feelings far away from our sweet children. I just didn’t want these things to be barriers to their happiness.

I struggled with determining how to teach this to my girls.  Especially after each of my sweet girls was born and I stood in from of my mirror each morning, poking my flabby belly and stretched out boobs.  It was hardest after BunnyGirl was born.  I had more stretch marks and had gained more weight.  It took longer for me to lose the weight from her and it seemed like my hips had permanently shifted.  She nursed longer and more ravenously than her older brother. I had trouble keeping up with the calorie demands and lost weight rapidly the last couple of months.  When she was weaned, I was left with two withered, deflated balloons on my chest in lieu of boobs, I saw bony and my clothes hung off of me.

I wish I could say that I triumphed, learned to love myself, developed healthy exercise routines and became a brand new me, but that’s not true. I rolled over and played dead.  I ignored the problem.  Eventually, the weight disappeared, the skin’s elasticity (mostly) returned.  WOW, right? I lost all that baby weight and didn’t do a thing?  I must be soooo lucky.  Yup.  Great.  Only problem was: I didn’t like myself any better than before.  Before, I was too fat and squishy from having a baby. Now, I was too skinny, too bony, and still had saggy skin on my belly.  Oh the irony…to first be troubled because I was too fat and then to be too skinny.

One morning, reality hit me right in the face when my sweet 2 year old ran up, grabbed my belly and said “Squishy mommy!” as I was getting dressed.  She then lifted her shirt and poke her perfectly round baby belly the same way I did and used the “F” word.  (The three letter one: Fat.)

How could I teach my girls to love themselves, imperfections and all, when I couldn’t extend the same love to myself?  Ouch. 

Over and over since becoming a mother, I’ve been faced with the reality that there are no shortcuts in parenting.  I can’t teach my two year old to control his temper if I can’t control mine.  I can’t teach them to love vegetables, if I never eat them myself. I can’t teach them patience, if I have none for them.  I can’t teach them to love and accept their healthy bodies when I don’t love mine. 

I tried to focus on the good.  My body, stretch marks and sagginess (especially where I had that unfortunate belly ring as a college student), grew three beautiful children. Big ones, at that.  My body was able to give birth to them easily. My sad, saggy boobs had created milk for over 41 months and had nourished and provided comfort to three babies.  My hands held tiny hands, smoothed back feathery-fine baby hair and stroked soft baby cheeks.  My voice sang lullabies that were comforting to them. To my little boy and little girl, I am the most beautiful woman in the world, right now and just as I am.  Can’t that be enough?

It is and yet, it isn’t.  It wasn’t enough for me because I knew that deep down, I could do more. This is where I draw the line between beauty and health.  I can live with my imperfections; I can use makeup, clever undergarments and flattering clothes to feel beautiful.   I can bury negative comments for my daughters’ sake and teach them to feel beautiful.  But, it wasn’t beauty that was the important thing.  More than beauty, I want them to be healthy, in both mind and body.  That doesn’t come from pep-talks and encouragement.

I have realized that I am not healthy and am not modeling a healthy lifestyle for them.  I’m not caring for myself the way I would want them to care for themselves. I don’t value myself enough to place my health and well-being as a priority and that is NOT an example I want them to have.  I don’t mean taking “me”-time for a haircut or a massage, though that’s surely a nice morning out and a good mental break.  I mean the hard, ugly work it takes and the unpleasantness that comes with really, truly exercising.   Just as there are no shortcuts in parenting, there are no shortcuts to exercise.  No DVD, no contraption, no machine is going to replace actually doing something with your arms and legs.  It may be unpleasant and it may not be fun, but I need to change the way I treat my body…image and physical form…for my children’s sake.

Part Two: Practicing What I Preach and Making Time

Hate to Love and Love to Hate Her - FLYlady

It's January and that time of New Years Resolutions.  I never stick to them so I'm not bothering this year.  However, I am using the opportunity to revisit a few things that I used to enjoy but have fallen by the wayside.  A couple of years ago, I started following the FLYLady (makes it sound like a cult, haha)  and I loved it. However, sometime before DeeDee arrived, I got off track and never managed to get back into the groove after she was born. Then we moved, we were in transit for two months and waiting for household goods for two more months. Now, it's time for me to get back on track.

Truthfully, I don't even know who the FLYLady really is or how she became the FLYlady, but nevertheless she is.  FLY stands for Finally Loving Yourself.  I'm not sure how to describe her other than maybe a home-life coach and motivator.  She has a system for managing your home and home-life to keep your house neat, clean and keep you happy. Because, really, who is happy when your house is trashed and your to-do list is a mile long.  One of her key principles is letting go of perfectionism.  We expect so much from ourselves that we can't even begin to start and when we do "start" we take on so much that we can't possibly finish it.  I know I am guilty of putting off household chores until I have time do them "right!" or deciding to organize my closets only to get halfway through and stuff it all back in. She has lots of catch-phrases for her system, Here are a few of my favorites:

• You are not behind! I don't want you to try to catch up; I just want you to jump in where we are. O.K?    OK!  I am definitely the type of person that would say "I can't start a home organization routine if my home is a disorganized mess."   But, jumping in works.  I recommend avoiding everything on her website except the Baby Steps page since it can be overwhelming.  Add one thing in a day, or a week and eventually you will see big improvement.
• Housework done incorrectly is still blesses your family.  True!! I may not have time to properly clean the floors, but even a quick sweep is better than nothing and keeps the disasters from piling up.

• Deal with the Hot-Spot before it becomes a Fire!   The hot spots are those places in your house where things get dumped and clutter collects.  For me, its' my kitchen counter, my dining room table and my dresser.  I toss things there and never get around to going back for them.  Stuff really piles up.  FLYLady suggests doing 2 minute "fire drills" to put out those hot spots, twice a day.  Now, you're not goign to see a clean counter after the first evening. But, seriously, set the timer, go to work in one area and put things away...the RIGHT way...for two minutes. You'll be shocked at the improvement you get in a couple of days.  

 There are tons of other catch-phrases and tricks from the FLYLady but I can't list them all here.  Some of her baby-steps are a little "controversial."  (Like getting dressed to your shoes, laying out your clothes the night before, or writing out your routine.)  They sound so simplistic that they can't possibly work.  Except they do.  I started with FLYlady as an experiment and was loaded up with skepticism.  Blast the woman...she was right, every single time.  Shining my sink, every night, did make my kitchen look cleaner and make me happier.  I really was more motivated and less likely to curl up on the couch when I had shoes on. Laying out my clothes (and diaperbag!) did make my mornings much smoother.  I hated to admit that she was right with but I LOVED the results in my home.  I could see my kitchen counters! I could see the floor! The laundry wasn't a week-long back log.  My bathrooms were ALWAYS clean!  I no longer had to Sprint of Shame before company came to hid my mess. Even Soldier has noticed the improvement during my first week "back"  and all I was doing was shining my sink and putting out my hot spots!

If you are curious about it, the main website is www.flylady.net. However, I strongly suggest you start with the Baby Steps. It's a 30 day plan to get you FLYing...one teeny, tiny, step at a time.  It's very easy to make teeny changes to your routine over a long period of time and achieve BIG results!  http://www.flylady.net/d/getting-started/31-beginner-babysteps/

Heavy Heart

My grandfather passed away on Sunday after a six month battle with mesothelioma.  It's been heartbreaking to watch as my family struggles to do the right things, to determine what the "right things" are, and to realize how my grandparents have been struggling. 

My grandmother suffers from rheumatoid arthritis and has mobility challenges.  She's struggled with this for many years. She has also been experiencing a rapid decline in her memory.  This came on relatively quickly. In less than four years, she's gone from remembering EVERYTHING to a jumbled mess.  We used to joke that my grandmother kept a secret notebook where she had notes, because she could name off all of my friends, their husbands, how long they had been married, their kids names, when they were born, co-workers, etc.  She remembered every cold we had, every doctor's appointment, social appointment, lunch date or shopping trip we mentioned in passing.  Nowadays, I know she knows who I am, that I am married and have children.  Beyond, that I'm not totally sure.  She is aware that she is confused and forgetful and can be rather sneaky to cover it up.  If I had to classify it, I would say that she has increasing troubles forming long-term memories over the last four years.  But, it seems that recently ever her older memories are getting jumbled.  I can't put a medical diagnosis or a name to her troubles, since she's repeatedly refused doctor's appointments or evaluation.  I waver on whether or not it matters.  The odds are better that's not something that has an easy fix or a magic pill.  She's been leaving the house less and less over the last two years.  We think mobility is an issue. The home is a split level, so she's effectively held hostage by stairs out of the front door and down to the garage.  But, we also think it's partly because she just doesn't feel like it.

My grandfather was the more mobile of the two.  Up until this summer, he was pretty active...putzing around my uncle's ranch (We joked he was "playing farmer" and terrorizing the animals), checking out the latest offerings at the TSC, going to his coffee dates (at the local McDonald's with old buddies from his working days where they gossiped about current happenings at work and how things "used to be"), golfing occasionally and doing most of the errands and food shopping. We think they subsisted on primarily take-out and are probably keeping Papa John's in business during the tough economic times.  It's not ideal and I really objected to it at first, but as my mother said, "They are 80 years old; if eating take out makes them happy, what's the problem?"  I objected because it was unhealthy, but I guess at 80 years old, it's probably not going to do that much harm.  My grandfather had diabetes...though he used to "leave it at home" when he was traveling or dining out.  I think most of us figured he would eat himself (happily, I might add) to the grave and die of complications from his diabetes or congestive heart failure.  He was a man SERIOUS about his food.  I can easily conjure a mental image of him lined up at my grandmother's counter, piling food onto a plate or two, and then sitting at the table in his usual seat hunched over the plate and methodically destroying it. 

Hospice has been assisting in caring for my Grandfather as he wished to remain at home.  My Grandmother helped him when he needed it and when she could.  They repeatedly declined additional help from Hospice and told all of us that they were fine.  My mother flew out right after Christmas and discovered things were not "fine."  She decided to stay with them as my grandfather started declining rapidly and the nurses felt he didn't have much time left.

 My mother has shouldered most of the caregiver burden, not just for my ailing grandfather but also for my cantankerous grandmother.  I have had a very hard time accepting that my ability to help is limited to prayer and encouragement.  I am a DO-er. My Love Languages are Gifts and Acts of Service.  As you can imagine, I've had a very hard time accepting that I am in Germany and unable to assist.  I've agonized over the situation, studied SPACE A flights, looked into furnished condos near them, and rental cars trying to find some sensible way of offering assistance. In the end, it always came back to my kids.  I have three small kids and going to assist my mother and grandparents would be devastating on them, regardless of how I handled it.  Leaving them in Germany with Soldier for an indefinite amount of time would break my heart and theirs. Not only would they miss Mommy but their tiny lives would be upside down since they'd be plunked into daycare while he was at work.  Bringing them with me would have involved pulling them from school, finding some kind of daycare or part time preschool there so I had some respite care and they had a break from my grandparents home, living in a hotel and having our family split for the next six months until Soldier PCS'd from Germany.  And, though I've struggled to put a price on caring for family, this would not be a cheap option -- flights for four, plus a rental car and temporary lodging for six months?  In the end, despite a week of agonizing over this and looking for ways to manipulate the situation, I could not inflict that much upheaval on my children.  It's really uncomfortable to feel like I am choosing between the two groups and I pray I have made the right choices in this process. 

My grandfather's memorial is today.  I've read the obituary and it seems like it's written about someone else, except that the facts are familiar.  I think the truth will become real for me when Soldier and I arrive in Leavenworth this summer and don't see him sitting in his chair or standing at the front window as we drive up.  He was always the first out of the house to welcome us when we visited, as kids or adults.  For now, I am relieved to know that he is not suffering anymore.  Frankly, the descriptions I've read of how mesothelioma attacks the body are pretty horrifying.  The situation is much easier to carry on my heart knowing that he is at peace and that my mother is not alone caring for him.

This moment for remembering him now seems like a small pause in the storm before the next thing comes: figuring out whether or not my grandmother can continue to live independently.  In my heart, I believe she probably can't.  I also believe that she may just prefer to sit in her chair and wait for her turn. I also believe that she will not leave her home without a fight. My grief is also for her, for the fact that she has come to a point where we are discussing "what to do about grandma" and at a loss for a solution that she might be open to - beyond leaving her to sit in her chair indefinitely as she seems to want.  There are plenty of options for her; the trouble is finding one that she might agree to.

We will arrive in Leavenworth in about six months.  My previous visions of that time have fallen away as we've started to grasp the severity of the situation.  Clearly, I was unrealistic to think that she simply needed motivation (ME + Adorable Great Grandbabies!) to leave the house and to make some positive changes.   At this point, I'm not certain what will await us or how I can best serve my family when I arrive.  For now, I am laughing over good memories of my grandfather, grateful to know he is no longer suffering, and holding on to hope that as the stress of my grandfather's illness and passing fade, my grandmother's symptoms will ease and she will regain some clarity and motivation. 

Follow Up to New Year's Finance

I wrote about "paying yourself first" earlier this week and was asked how it had worked out for us, I realized that while I've done regular financial check-ups and reviews, I haven't taken a very long-term look at our progress.  I dug out some financial goals I had written and saved on my computer back in January 2010...I didn't have any from before 2010, mostly because I just wasn't diligent about writing them down.

Here's a summary of my goals:
1. Build a Short-Term Savings Fund to use for things like car repairs, new tires, a unexpected household expenses, etc.  This would be in a relatively easy to access savings account.

2. Build a large Emergency Fund to cover three months of living expenses.  This money would be in a Money Market Account.

3. Build a Vacation Fund to use each year.

4. Increase contributions for the kid's college accounts so we could meet our goal of covering 75% or more of our children's college tuition by the time they are 18. 

5. Increase our Retirement Savings to a targeted % of our income.

6. Increase our savings rate on our Home Fund so we could have a down payment of 30% or more by 2020.

To give you a little context, in early 2010, Soldier was deployed, Bunny Girl had just arrived (DeeDee wasn't even a daydream yet) and we'd had an expensive year since I had opted to move back home to stay with my parents during the deployment and for Bunny Girl's birth.  I had begun to realize that affording vacations was becoming more and more difficult when you're paying for more little people to tag along and those airline tickets really add when when I needed a "home fix."  We'd also had a few car surprises that year...never enjoyable!  At the time, these were pretty lofty goals.  I couldn't see putting that much of our income aside...especially that 20% number for retirement and the Home Fund. Ouch!  I remember looking at those goals back then and thinking how crazy I was for even aspiring to that.

I'd like to say that it was really easy, everything when smoothly and according to schedule but anything worth doing is never quite that easy.  I spent the first year with the "All or Nothing" approach described in the previous post.    I would get super excited about these goals and go overboard with my savings.  I paid so much to our savings account that we ended up "broke" at the end of each month. Whoops.  Then I had to pull from the savings account or float it on a credit card, both bad habits to get into.

I've spent the last two years taking a more gradual approach, making small changes to the budget each month and monitoring our spending.  The tiny, incremental changes were so much easier to absorb and maintain. I'm a big fan of auto-investing, automatic transfers to savings accounts and etc.  I need it idiot-proof.  Making small 1% or $5, $10 or $20 increases into the amount every couple of months as I could slowly added.

I didn't realize how much it had added up until I pulled out those goals from 2010 again yesterday.  Here's our progress:

2013 Status:
1. Short-Term Savings Fund: CHECK!  We made it to the goal, but since this is a short-term fund, it does end up being somewhat in flux. We keep up monthly contributions hear but don't sweat it if the balance gets a little lower because a surprise expense pops up. After all, that's why we have it! It's been very nice to have for unavoidable surprise expenses.  (WHAT? I have to buy Snow Tires in Germany??)

2. Long-Term Emergency Fund: CHECK!  We made it. However, now that our family is larger I've realized we need to increase this a big, so back to work we go!

3. Vacation Fund: Meh.  This didn't happen until about six months ago.  Part of it was a lack of motivation to save for this.  Moving to Germany and checking out the whooping $1400 ticket price per person for a visit home gave me some serious motivation.  I figured to afford one visit home each year, I would need to stash $400 a month in this account. That wasn't going to happen, so I started with $250 a month. It would offer an annual travel budget of  $3000.  Not enough to fly all of us home each year but it would be a start.  Since we found out we will not be staying in Germany long, I've cut this amount in half to free up some extra "fun money" each month for day trips so we can get the most out of our short German Adventure.

4. Increase College Contributions:  Each of our kids has a 529 plan for college.  We aren't quite at the numbers I'd like to be contributing each month, but we are steadily gaining.  I love that our investment company offers an automatic annual increase in the auto-investment amount.  I have it set for an extra $15 each January.  I have been doing that for three years and don't even notice the increase.  I've also been able to make small increases a few other times each year.  Slow n steady wins the race!

5. Increase our Retirement Savings:  YES and more!  This is a big victory for me.  About two years ago, I did some retirement calculations to figure out how much we might need in assess for retirement and figured out how far three different contributions in % would get us.  At the time, the low % (based off of recommendations from various articles/websites offering retirement planning advice and calculators) seemed a stretch for us.  I was really excited when I realized we made it to our mid-range target.  Way better than I had expected.  It was done with small changes...1% at annual pay adjustments and adding $25 to my auto-investments every couple of months. 

6. Increase our Home Fund Savings:  This was similar to the Retirement goal in that it seemed like a long-shot.  We're very indecisive about buying a house right now. It's tempting and we've heard some success stories from our Army Friends. BUT...the economy is a big question mark and we've also heard many stories of the house creating a burden when it comes time to rent or sell it.  Regardless of what we do in the interim, when Soldier gets close to retirement, we'd like to have a good amount of money to put down on a house. We don't have a ton of money saved but if we can maintain our current rate of savings for this, then we will meet our goal a year ahead of schedule.

In addition to our goals above, I also started a Christmas Fund.  I looked into the Christmas Clubs at our Credit Unions for kicks and giggles but determined that a good old fashioned savings account gave me similar returns and "no-touch-em's" effects but with the easy of moving it to a checking account when shopping time came.  This may not be for everyone, but I really felt like we needed it.   DeeDee's birthday is right before Thanksgiving, then comes Monster Boy right before Christmas and Bunny Girl on New Years Day...combine three birthdays within 60 days with the Holidays and it's can be a bit of a money hemorrhage.  This year was the first year we did this, though I had only been saving about four months. We made a concerted effort to scale back this year because we really felt like the last few years had been a bit excessive.  Between cutting back and the Christmas Fund, we had a really easy time this year.  It was really nice. As a side benefit, we discovered about $200 extra at the end of the month that we could use for charitable contributions. SWEET!

Speaking of cutting back this year...I really think part of it had to do with being in Germany.  We were totally removed from the US Commercial Onslaught of the holidays.  AFN doesn't have holiday sale ads, haha. No Target commercials, no Macy's sales, no tempting holiday displays at the mall, no pressure for last minute gift purchases, etc. Admittedly, there are commercial districts here in Germany but with three small children and living out in the boonies, we just don't go much.  We did make it to several Christmas Markets, but our purchases there were mostly small Christmas decorations and something we easily covered with funds we had allocated in our monthly budget for day trips. 

So, that's where we stand in 2013.  Overall, I'm really pleased (and a bit surprised!) with the progress we made and I'm glad I went back to look at where we were three years ago.   Sometimes, budgeting feels like a hamster wheel....lots of running and work but never getting anywhere...but this showed me that progress sneaks up.  I'm also glad for the new perspective on where to go from here!

Stuff My Dad Says, the New Years Edition

I've reached that point in my life where I find myself quoting my parents.  I know...Teenage Me would have denied the possibility of this ever happening but...never say never!

As we start the New Year, financial goals are one of the popular New Year's Resolutions: savings, eliminating debt, planning for retirement.  They all involve setting and sticking to a budget. My father's advice on budgeting was this: Pay Yourself First.  As a college student, I really liked this advice and took it to heart. I ALWAYS paid myself first.  I made sure I bought my new boots, new purses and dinners out first and worried about the rest later.  You can imagine how that worked out for me: I ended up like many twenty-somethings with a big ol' nasty pile of debt. But, that's a story for another time. 

By paying yourself first, my father meant that you had to carve out what you wanted/needed to save FIRST.  Set your savings goals, then look at your required monthly expenses and see what you've got leftover.  I think that many folks to this in a different order: Take the income, subtract necessary expenses, subtract some "fun" money and then save what's left over at the end of the month.  Here's the problem...my "fun" money demands are limitless.  There was never anything leftover at the end of the month because there was always something I "needed." (Shoes and a new outfit for Saturday night were necessary, right? I mean, seriously, I have to be "properly" clothed.) I have changed my attitude and my first priority every month and every paycheck is to get the money earmarked for savings OUT of my checking account before I do anything else.

The trick for me was setting realistic savings goals. I'd LIKE to say that I saved a thousands of dollars a month from Day One. But that's not realistic.  Even though "Saving" is generally regarded as a good thing, putting too much away can cause problems. If you can't cover your expenses, you must dip into the savings account to cover the overage or you "float" the over-spending with credit cards the intention of paying it off next paycheck. Once you break the seal on that Savings account, it's waaaaay to easy to take a little "extra" to get through the month or to do it a second time.  Don't go down that path! And, seriously...you KNOW the credit card rarely got paid off at the next paycheck!

It's OK to start small.  There have been plenty of studies that explain why an all or nothing approach is ineffective. (Think about weight loss, exercise regiments, smoking cessation, etc.) If you start shaving off 50% of your income each month without some sensible goal setting and budget scrutiny, you will fail. But, DO START paying yourself first.  Anything is better than nothing.  Start with $20, $100, $5....whatever is comfortable.  Then as you examine your spending and budget, you can make incremental changes to increase your savings without feeling the pain.

I love adjusting the savings rates at pay raise time. For the last few years, the military has received small annual increases every January. It's not a lot, .5%, 1.x%, etc. Regardless of the amount, that is a fantastic time to increase your TSP percentage by just one point.  You won't notice a difference in your paycheck; the raise will off set the increase in your savings. And, really, does a 1% raise really make that big of a difference in your salary each month?  If your basic pay rate is $2000, 1% means you are getting an extra twenty bucks a month. I can't do a whole lot with an extra twenty bucks, but in a year that will be $240 in your savings account. When you do the increase again the next January, you still have $20 going to your savings account plus an additional 1% percent from that year's increase -- and extra $40.  So, you are now saving $60 a month or $720 a year with zero pain. No cutting your spending, you're maintaining your current spending* and  passing the pay raises directly to the savings account.  When bigger increases happen at promotion time or time in service anniversaries,  that's the time to make a bigger jump in the portions that you increase.  Give a hunk to the savings and keep a little for yourself. (Yes, it's OK to throw yourself a bone once in a while!)  It will feel like nothing in the beginning...but $20 does add up over time, both in the savings account and in the amount coming out of your paycheck.

I may cringe and laugh when I find myself quoting my parents, but I'm pretty sure my parents would cringe at the thought of this former Shopaholic dispensing financial advice and encouragement! 

PS: If you haven't started a TSP, now is a great time to get started.  And yes, 1% is totally acceptable! 

*A quick note: When I say "maintaining your current spending,"  I'm assuming you are not charging a couple hundred bucks (or more!) a month on to your credit card. If you are, stop it!  Go back to the drawing board on your budget and start making some tough decisions to make ends meet.   Credit Cards completely negate the point of savings.