Lessons in Cookie Decorating

'Tis the season for holiday cheer and one of my most dreaded tasks: decorating Sugar cookies with the kiddos. My mother did this with us when we were little, so it's a family holiday tradition, yadda-yadda-ya. But here's the thing: I really, really hate doing it. I dread this every year. The mess, the sneezed on cookies, the frosting smashed in shirts/hair/noses, the wasted blobs of frosting, the lack of appreciation for anything artistic, neat or orderly. I'm not proud of this...I wish it was different. But, every year, I grit my teeth, paste on a fake smile and pretend to love cookie baking time. I love my children so much, I tell myself, that I will suffer in silence for them.



There's a "but" coming...ready for it?


But, I never seem to manage to fake it that well. Mommy is so tense, nervous and short-tempered that the activity my children are thrilled with turns to misery quickly. Why? The cookie cutters overlap previously cut shapes and chop off a reindeer's head? The frosting is just a disgusting blob of blue, purple and orange and do you KNOW how much it cost to buy/make all of that?

'Tis the season for holiday cheer and one of my most dreaded tasks: Decorating Sugar cookies with the kiddos. My mother did this with us when we were little, so it's a family holiday tradition, yadda-yadda-ya. But here's the thing: I really, really hate doing it. I dread this every year. The mess, the sneezed on cookies, the frosting smashed in shirts/hair/noses, the wasted blobs of frosting, the lack of appreciation for anything artistic, neat or orderly. I'm not proud of this...I wish it was different. But, every year, I grit my teeth, paste on a fake smile and pretend to love cookie baking time. I love my children so much, I tell myself, that I will suffer in silence for them.

This year, I snapped at Monster Boy over the mess he was happily making on top of a cookie. Why? Did it matter that he used half a tube of red icing on one cookie? Probably not. If I was that worried about money, I would have made the frosting myself rather than buy the tubes. He was reluctant to pick up the icing tubes after Mommy's outburst. I apologized and encouraged him to resume. He carefully picked up the tubes of icing and resumed work. Only, this time he asked me if what he was doing was OK....every step of the way. There was a whole heap of lessons in this moment. 1. My temper made him uncertain of whether or not he was walking on solid ground. 2. My desire for control had killed his joy for the activity. 3. My sense of "right" took away his appetite to explore, create and imagine.

As I sit here and write this, I have no inspiring or uplifting thoughts to temper these heart breaking lessons. My only hope is that I will remember them. I'm thankful for the forgiveness offered by our Heavenly Father, thankful that that I get to try to be a better mother again tomorrow and try to demonstrate His gentleness and forgiveness better to my children.