Wheels Up!

We survived our flight Germany. Here’s our travel story: 

As we planned,  we left around 1pm, drove up to BWI and checked into a hotel near the airport around 3pm. The kids had a nap boycott in the car, despite my best efforts.  They were obviously worked up about or BIG ADVENTURE.   When we arrived at the hotel, there was lots of tears and grumpiness.  We tried one last time in the hotel bed for a nap since Bunny Girl really needed it but it was not happening so we went out to the pool for about 30 minutes.  It was a fantastic distraction and lots of fun, basically like a big RESET button for the kids.  Then we put our clothes back on and drove over to the airport for check-in.  The line was about a million years long.  I had two carts of luggage plus the kids and Bob.  My mom was met us there to help with luggage while my dad parked the car.

Check-in was fine and we were able to get four seats in a row.  They gave us the bulk-head, which I was pretty pleased about though I’m not sure I would do it again. (More on that later.)

We went back to the hotel (five minute drive!) and got take out for dinner. It was great because the kids weren’t confined and weren’t under “best behavior” rules for dining out.  It was much more relaxed than going out.  After dinner, the babies took a bath and I jumped in the shower.   We all dressed in super comfy clothes and were ready to go. 

We headed to the airport aroud 8:00 and went through security at 8:30. Goodbyes were really hard.  Tears from me and my parents. Confusion from the kids. Bunny girl kept dashing out of the security line and running to Grammie and Grandpa for more hugs and snuggles.  Getting through security was tough…but it’s never really fun with kids and juggling carry-ons, liquid baggies, declaring extra baby food/drinks, pulling out laptops, stroller, car seat, etc. We survived and I think we were only about a 10 minute spectacle for our fellow passengers. 

After we made it through security, I grabbed a couple bottles of water at the gift shop. I usually do this when flying because I hate waiting for the beverage service when I have grumpy thirsty kids.  Then, we camped out by the gate next to another family.  They kindly watched my stuff while I took the kids for potty/diaper changes before we boarded which was a huge help and reduced my potty break time by about 70%. 

As we boarded, I realized I was the only “single” parent family group….made me a little sad.  They seated all the families in one section of the aircraft. (Seating Doctrine of Mutually Assured Destruction, perhaps?)  But, at least that alleviated some of the travelling guilt for seat kicking and crying in flight. 

We were seated in the bulkhead, so I had to do a little reassessment of our immediate needs for the flight since all of our carry-ones had to be  in the overhead bins for take-off.  I pulled out our sleepytime stuff (pillows and blankets), the iPods and water bottles and stashed everything else.

I think we lucked out and this flight was on a contracted United aircraft with a United crew.  We had the best comfy blankets ever in our seats. They were fluffy quilted down-alternative personal-size blankets.  Seriously, I WISH I could have snuck them off the plane. They also had rectangular travel pillows. As it turned out, the kids much preferred the airline’s blankets and pillows.  They curled up in a cute little next of fluffy blanket and pillow.

The kids slept about 4.5 hours after take-off.  They started waking and I could tell they were just grumpy and uncomfortable in the seat. It was kind of sad watching their poor confused faces as they shuffled around, half-asleep, trying to get comfortable and go back to sleep.  We had a small bout of tears starting so I opted for distraction: group POTTY BREAK!  Yes, it is possible to fit an adult, two kids and an infant into an aircraft bathroom.  Just make sure it’s the handicapped one!   Our potty break took about 30 minutes with all the shuffling around for the potty/sink use and a diaper change. 

We tried to go back to sleep, but the kids were awake at that point and were thinking it was time to land. (HA.)  The next part of the flight was spent mostly watching movies on their iPods and a little bit of toys/coloring time.

As luck would have it, they both fell asleep as the plane landed.  Monster boy woke up during taxi but Bunny Girl sleeps like the dead.  She is hard to wake on a normal day buy as exhausted as she was on the plane, I was worried she’d need to be carried off the plane.  I managed to wake her, but she was very, very groggy and clumsy as we got off the plane. 

I was very disappointed to find out that we did NOT get our strollers at the jetway.  They took them straight to baggage claim. I really, really could have used the help since I was pack-muling SBG in the Ergo carrier and a backpack, wheeling a suitcase, carrying a carseat and Bunny girl’s backpack in my left arm and pulling the rolling suitcase with my right arm.  Monster boy did OK walking with his backpack but Bunny Girl was pretty much stumbling like a drunk sailor.

The worst part was the giant staircase right off of the jetway.  There was a huge crush of people going down to Immigrations and I was effectively stuck at the top of the staircase. I asked the staff about an elevator and was told there was none.  This was my one of two near-breaking moments.  I tried going down the stairs, but I had so much in my arms and there were so many people pushing that I was close to losing my balance.  Bunny girl was so groggy and unsteady that she just couldn’t manage the stairs and I couldn’t help her since my hands were full. I was sure she was going to fall.  We were stuck about two stairs down when some fellow passengers realized our trouble and started unloading me.  When I had my hands free, I was able to sling Bunny Girl on my hip and carry her down. Monster Boy did great on his own…such a little trooper.  I really regret how this was handled.  I did see an elevator after we were on the floor below.  I suspect, but can’t prove, that it wasn’t used as a matter of convenience for those herding passengers. I would have had to leave the “passenger pathways” they had roped off to herd is in the right direction and then be funneled back in on the bottom floor.  Since this is a US facility, I feel certain there had to have been an alternate to the stairs to allow for disabled/wounded passengers.  We just weren’t allowed to use it. 

We made it through Immigrations and passports without incident. Very easy.  As we walked to Baggage, I saw Soldier waiting for us on the other side of the window.  I nearly cried out of relief and frustration that he was so close but still a BIG hurdle away. 

Baggage Claim was a nightmare.  It’s a tiny area with a TON of people shoving suitcases and luggage carts around.  There’s really no extra space to maneuver in there.  I had a very hard time getting luggage carts and coaxing the kids into one area. We were separated by a crowd of people for a few minutes while I was trying to get luggage carts.  The stream of people just sort of flowed around us and I couldn’t get through to the kids.  They got a little upset….lots of big people, noise and stuff going on and Mommy was far away.  It seemed like it took four years for luggage to be brought up.  Really, I think it was probably about an hour to hour and a half after we arrived at the gate and maybe 30 minutes after I arrived in Baggage area. It doesn’t seem like that long as I write the words but at the time, it was an eternity.  Sweet Baby Girl was sobbing in her car seat, Bunny  Girl was randomly bursting into tears out of exhaustion and Monster Boy was fully engaged in the Crazy-Exhausted behavior he does.  He just couldn’t  stay still….was jumping, climbing, crawling, rolling all over and harassing both sisters in various ways. I was torn between watching the conveyor belt from about 15 feet and 10 people away and keeping tabs on the kids.  I tried asking the Customs Agents if Soldier could come through to help, which they refused.  The door to where he was standing was about 15 feet from the Baggage area. I asked if I could send the kids through the door to Soldier, I figured Monster Boy and Bunny Girl could walk through to him…it was all glass windows so he’d see them coming.  The guards told me no one in my group could exit until we had all of our luggage.  At that point, I just gave up.  I shoved the carts and my carry-ons against the back wall and sat down on the floor with all three of my crying children.   I felt like crying but decided the luggage problem would work itself out. If I sat on the floor long enough, everyone else would get their bags and leave. Then, it would be easy to find my bags since they’d be the only ones left and I’d have lots of room to maneuver.

After a few minutes, a lady came over and asked if I was alone and if I was being met by anyone. She told me one of the guards had let a pregnant lady out of the baggage area to drop off her daughter with her husband while she got the luggage.  The passenger pointed me to the guard that had done it.  I went over in all my bedraggled, crying kid glory and asked to do the same.  He waved me through and I walked the kids out the magic door of freedom to where Soldier and two dear friends were waiting.  I handed them off and then went back into wrangle bags alone.  My guardian angel passenger stayed to help me push one of the carts outside.

We loaded up the car, with the help of our friends. We were quite the spectacle: four adults, six kids, two giant carts of luggage and two strollers!  We all went over to the PX for lunch and playtime at their indoor play area and then loaded in the car for the four hour drive to our home. Thankfully, the kids were tired and well-exercised so they all slept nearly the whole way to Parsberg.  

Tomorrow I'll Post my AAR -- What worked, what didn't and what I wish I knew ahead of time.

Pack Mule Mama or What I Put in My Carry-On

I’ve meticulously planned out my carry-ons.  (Neurotic, yes.  But, it makes me feel like I can manage this.)   I normally travel with just a backpack and the two big kids’ toddler-sized backpack but I feel like I need extra supplies since this is such a long trip. (I'm calculating about22 hours total: 2 hours of drive time, 6 hours of "wait", 8 hours of flight time, 2 hours to get luggage, potty and grab lunch and then 4 hours of drive time to our new home.)

 Here’s the run down:

Mommy Back Pack (under the seat for easy, in-flight access)

• snacks (4 servings each: peanut butter packets, fruit squeezies, crackers, cheerios, bib, baby food etc)
• Water bottles (for Bunny Girl and Monster Boy)
• Baby toys
• Kindle (Hey, a Mom can dream, right?)
• Emergency packet of formula and a bottle (In case SBG really does nurse all night long!)
• Toiletry basics (tooth brushes, compact, lip balm, contact solution, eye glasses and a comb)
• Diapers, wipes and spare outfit for SBG
• Wallet/Passports/Army Travel Documents/Cell Phone

Spinner Light Weight Carry-On (I purchased this just for the flight. It’s super light-weight and rolls so easily that Monster Boy could easily push it if needed. The plan is to unpack what I need for the flight at the beginning and then stash it in the overhead for the remainder.)

• Spare clothes for ALL of us. (On a 12 hour trip, someone is bound to dump something on themselves and me!)
• Travel pillows & blankets for the kids
• Seahorses (the big kids' bedtime "soothers")
• More food (Duplicate of what’s in the backpack for an emergency)
• Laptop
• Jewelry/Valuables

Kids Backpacks: (Bunny Girl and Monster Boy each have a wheeled toddler backpack)

• “Airplane Toys” Yes, I bribe my kids on the plane. Before a big trip, we pick out one small, new toy to play with on the airplane. I stash it away until that moment of desperation on the plane. Works like a charm! 
•  A couple of toys of their choosing 
• Crayons 
• Coloring/Activity/Sticker Books 
•  iPod/Headphones (They only use these during big trips so when I pull them out, there’s a major NOVELTLY factor here. Awesome.  And, I splurged and picked out a couple of new movies for this trip.)

I will also have my trusty travelling companion BOB with me.  He’s big and strong, can carry heavy loads when I get tired and is great at keeping the kids under control. (BOB…Revolution Duallie.)  He will be carting Sweet Baby Girl’s infant carrier car seat. 

So, that’s the round-up: BOB, carseat, a wheeled carry-on, a backpack, two toddler backpacks, a four year old, a two year old, a nine month old and one FRAZZLE MOMMY.

Loving My Military Man

Previously, I wrote a post inspired by my mother that focused around some of the sacrifices Military Spouses make for our Soldier’s careers. 

Something weighed on my mind afterwards:  this notion of “sacrifice” for our spouse.  Words that my husband said once to friends of ours at a party returned to my mind.  They ladies were talking about jobs they had before getting married, jobs they’d like to have eventually.  Someone asked about me and my husband replied,  “She’s got big dreams. I’m holding her back!”   He played it off as a joke, but I wondered if there was a hint of truth in it.  Could my husband think that he’s holding me back?  Does he believe that I sacrifice too much for him?  Does he believe that I’m unhappy or resent him for that?  Could he think that I regret my decision to marry him and follow him?  These things really tugged at my heart strings.

So, to ensure clarity:  Yes, if I knew then what I know now, I would definitely change my answer to his proposal. He asked “How would you feel about being an Army wife?”  I said “Well, I think I could probably handle it.”   Instead, I would have said “Heck YES! Let’s get married NOW because I can’t wait to start this adventure with you!”

Rather than dwell on our sacrifice, Let’s look at what we GET!

1. Adventure:   I’ve ridden around in Strykers, I’ve attended numerous Live Fire Demos, I’ve had the opportunity to “play” with and fire numerous weapons. I’ve met the President of the United States.  Those are some of my more exciting adventures. I’ve also had some challenging adventures – they aren’t necessarily fun, but I’m thankful for the opportunity to realize that I am tougher than I look and that God really doesn’t give you more than HE can handle!  I’ve been pregnant twice during deployments.  My husband made it home both times and we had Hallmark Moment reunions. (One was a Christmas surprise!) 

2. Travel: I am moving to Germany.  I am not paying for it. That’s right…an all expense paid trip to tour Europe, complete with my own house, my own bed and my own car.   Do I really need to explain more? 

3. Freedom:  A few years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Joanne Holbrook Patton for an article.  She’s lovely…really, really lovely.  I was so nervous but she was easy to talk to and so kind to my bumbling interviewer tactics.  I will never forget one point she shared with me about being an Army Spouse.  She said that we have opportunities not available to those in the civilian world. She described how, across the Military, spouses that see a need in their community come together to create change or improve their world for the better.  For example, the National Military Family Association was founded by spouses literally stalking Congressional offices to lobby for Survivor Benefits.  Today’s Family Readiness groups were borne from social groups that units formed to provide information and social opportunities to the spouses. This really crystallized for me this past year.  I served on the board for the Fort Bliss spouses club. In the course of my duties, I found myself standing in an empty old commissary and Mrs. Patton’s words floated through my head.  The building was in the process of being gutted and rebuilt as a new Thrift shop and activity center for the post. I was there waiting for my turn to brief the Commanding General on this project. I had spent the last few months discussing the design, blueprints and construction with well-educated architects, highly paid industrial design consultants and electrical engineers.  I help run a 501c(3) with a budget of  well over $200,000.  We gave away about $50,000 annually directly to people in our community.  I was trusted with steering a construction project with a budget of $100,000.  But, I am an unemployed, stay-at-home mom. That’s one heck of an opportunity!

4. Action Figure Husband:   My husband is a real life action hero.  Not to brag, but he’s a stud.  He’s handsome, well-muscled and fit.  And he has an ethical code that would rival any superhero’s. 

5. Passion, Drama, Romance, Suspense:  Really, most people have to go to a movie theater for this kind of stuff!   Some of it is great – like that first jubilant hug and kiss as you welcome your soldier home from a deployment.  Some of it is not great, such as waiting out that deployment.  There’s suspense and agony, joy and heartache in deployments.  But, boy is there Romance!  Most couples get one honeymoon period after their marriage. Military couples get a honeymoon period after long TDY’s,  field exercises, deployments and during R&Rs.  

What do you love best about being a Military Spouse?

Congratulations!

I’d like to give a big shout-out and congratulations to my mother. She was selected for a new job today. It’s a pretty big promotion for her.

The story could end there since you’re probably wondering why you care that my mother was promoted today.  I’d really like to share her story since I find it inspiring. She married my father at 19. He was a young MP at his first duty station. She was a high school senior.  They fell in love, got married and lived happily ever after, right?  Not quite.  My mother said “Sure, I’ll marry you but I’m NOT going to be one of those Army Spouses that moves every two or three years.”  So, my father left the Army and got a job with Uncle Sam. 

Here’s the punch line to their story:  During my father’s employment with Uncle Sam and my childhood, we generally moved every year.  Yes, that’s every year. I mean literally, every summer on the last day of school we had moving trucks roll up to our home and pack everything up. We lived in the same place for two sequential years three times: when I was in 5^th/6^th grades, 8^th/9^th grades and in 11^th/12^th grades.   My list, though lacking in OCONUS assignments, was pretty extensive before I turned 18:  Kansas, New York, Georgia, Virginia, New Jersey, Illinois, Texas, New Jersey, Connecticut and Virginia.  There were a few repeats, but none in the exact same area or close enough together to be any benefit. 

As you might expect, a woman who married at 19 and spent the next 20 years following her husband around the country didn’t have a chance to complete any college courses.  (Pre-internet and online class days!)  She also didn’t have much of a “professional” career.  Jobs were frequently hard to come by and when you only stayed somewhere 9-12 months, you couldn’t afford to spend six months job hunting.  She worked a variety of jobs but none were particularly glamorous or exciting.  But, she took what she got and kept quietly plugging on.

My father retired young, after 25 years with Uncle Sam.  At the end of his career, he’d been able to “homestead” for a whopping five years…a life-time record for us!  It was then that my mother began her career.  She took a job to get her foot in the door and eventually moved into something she enjoyed within the same department.  She has risen steadily through her department and through the GS ranks. She’s become a reliable and respected subject matter expert and is sought-after for opinions and special taskings.  She makes a solid six figure paycheck and is just a few years away from earning her own retirement with Uncle Sam. 

But…remember…she is the spouse that followed her man.  She “gave up” her dreams and ambitions for love. She took whatever employment she found (certainly, no dream jobs!) and quit when the next move came. She sacrificed in many of the same ways we do as Military Spouses.  Yet she has triumphed. 

When I feel down because I’m frustrated at my decreased earning potential, my dismal job opportunities and the difficulties I face in continuing my education, I don’t have to look far for inspiration and reassurance.  My mother provides it for me.  She succeeded by being patient, putting her head down and doing the very best she could in whatever role she was given.  She waited for her turn. 

If you are troubled as you wait for your turn, spend some time reading Psalm 37.  Trust Him. Be Still for Him. Do Good Things. Wait for Him. And GOOD will come to you.  

Planning Makes Perfect?

We leave for Germany soon.  Yes, I’m a little freaked out.  I’ve been overwhelmed a few times over the last week and have been on the verge of some major crying outbursts but I’m managed to shake them off with only a few tears squeaking out.  I cope with stress and uncertainty by PLANNING.  List, lists, strategy and more!  So, here’s my plan for the BIG ADVENTURE!

   

Our flight leaves at 10:50pm out of BWI and is a direct flight into Ramstein.  It’s about a two hour drive up to BWI but can be longer if DC traffic throws us a curve ball. We land around 6am EST in Germany (noon in Germany) and then have a four hour drive to our new home. I’m very concerned about the kiddos being all out of “good behavior” after the drive up to the airport and the long wait to board. Plus,11pm is very late for the kids; my kids are pretty regimented when it comes to bedtimes and don't do well much after 8:30 or 9pm. (It’s a blessing that they go to bed so well but occasionally a drawback when we really need flexibility!) 

I'm planning to rent a hotel near the airport for the evening and drive-up to BWI early in the day.  After the drive, we’ll play at the hotel and swim in the pool, then dash over to the airport for an early check-in. Afterwards, we’ll grab dinner and get ready to FLY. I'm planning to dress the kids in their jammies. We may look a little goofy but I will do whatever it takes to induce bedtime sleepy thoughts for them! 

I don't know how to...

As Army Wives, we pride ourselves on our ability to do anything, when necessary.  Mechanic, landscaper, plumber, soccer coach, appliance repair, exterminator, boy scout  camp counselor and general handyman are all roles that come to mind.  While my kids aren’t old enough to do camping trips yet, I’ll lay claim to all of the above; I’m really pretty useful to have around.  My father raised a rather independent girl. He was quite the Mr. Fix-It and I was a Daddy’s Girl, so I remember tagging along on many of his adventures and some mis-adventures in various home and auto repair tasks.  I feel pretty confident with painting, caulking, basic plumbing , basic woodworking, auto repair, power tools and I’ve been known to mess around with electrical tasks, much to my father’s dismay. 

Sometimes, I feel a little bad for my husband because I tend to be like my two-year-old. “Me do it BY MYSELF!”  It’s a pride thing and, let’s be honest, it’s just sort of bad-ass to know your way around a power tool. Am I right?  

But, there are two areas where I draw the line:  I don’t mow the lawn and I don’t grill.  I know, these probably sound pretty silly to my fellow Army Wives.  I know, they aren’t hard and I could do them, but I just don’t want to. (Two Year Old: “Me NO DO IT!”)

Why don’t I mow lawns?  I’m not really sure, but I’ll go ahead and blame my parents.  For some reason, my father taught me everything except lawn mowing.  They always had my brother do it when we were teenagers.  I remember mowing once. I made one pass across the backyard and they sent my brother out to do it for me.  I’m guessing that perhaps I was doing a really terrible job?  Although, it doesn’t really seem that complicated. Regardless, I’m ok with not mowing the lawn. I didn’t particularly enjoy it...it’s sweaty, the grass sticks to you, it takes a hunk of time out of the day and it can be hard work when you’re trying to hurry or have hills in the yard.  So, I have no desire to mow the lawn. Fortunately, I’m blessed with a husband that gets tremendous satisfaction from a well mowed yard.  I know what my fellow Military Spouses are thinking: What about when he leaves, Ms. I-don’t-mow-lawns?  Well, I still don’t mow lawns.  I don’t enjoy it, so I don’t do it. I know I can’t apply that reasoning to every unpleasant task, but let’s be honest…it’s pretty easy to out-source my lawn mowing duties.  I have twenty bucks and there are teen boys that will do it for me.  Deployments come with lots of extra duties and I decided long ago that I would rather skip a few Starbucks visits than mow the lawn. 

As for grilling, I’m somewhat less adamant about that and I’m even less sure about why I don’t do it.  It wasn’t a conscious decision. It was more of a realization.  I bought steaks one day to grill, then realized my husband was in the field and I didn’t know how to work the darned thing.  And, I had no desire to learn.  I think the crux of the matter is that grilling is usually an event, a family event, a social event or a party.  It wasn’t simply a means to provide food…it was an occasion.  So, when my husband isn’t around to grill, I don’t really want to anyway.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to attending a cook out while my husband is away…I’ll certainly attend but there’s usually someone else manning the grill, my dad or a friend’s husband or something.  I don’t have to do it. 

So there it is.  I am a Proud Army Spouse – Mom, Wife and SuperWoman, but I don’t mow lawns and I don’t grill.  What do you think about that?  Are there any tasks you refuse to do?

Why is it so heavy?

I generally think that by kid #3, I've got this Mom thing down.  I know that I don't have to haul around a suitcase of clothes and a medicine cabinet in my diaper bag since a crisis of that magnitude is rare.  So, why, oh why, do I feel like my diaper bag is slowing ripping my shoulder off?

Weapons Cache?

This is what I pulled out of my diaper bag recently.  I had a spare ten minutes and decided to clean out my bag.  Yes, clean it out...meaning I go through it looking for something other than my keys, wallet and emergency wipe and I have my hands in it longer than it takes to shove a toy inside. 

Seriously...no wonder it felt like it weighed a ton. It did.  There are five, yes FIVE, Monster Jam trucks alone in there.  Five! What on earth was I thinking?  Plus at least three other face cars, a set of LEGO wheels, two Mickey board books, a Mickey, a Daisy, two pairs of girly sunglasses and two baby rattles and a baby teething toy. 

Sheesh.

Note to self: Clean out diaper bag more often.  I haven't even mentioned how much money I found stuffed in there!