Previously, I wrote a post inspired by my mother that focused
around some of the sacrifices Military Spouses make for our Soldier’s
careers.
Something weighed on my mind afterwards: this notion of “sacrifice” for our
spouse. Words that my husband said once
to friends of ours at a party returned to my mind. They ladies were talking about jobs they had
before getting married, jobs they’d like to have eventually. Someone asked about me and my husband
replied, “She’s got big dreams. I’m
holding her back!” He played it off as
a joke, but I wondered if there was a hint of truth in it. Could my husband think that he’s holding me
back? Does he believe that I sacrifice
too much for him? Does he believe that
I’m unhappy or resent him for that?
Could he think that I regret my decision to marry him and follow
him? These things really tugged at my
heart strings.
So, to ensure clarity:
Yes, if I knew then what I know now, I would definitely change my answer
to his proposal. He asked “How would you feel about being an Army wife?” I said “Well, I think I could probably handle
it.” Instead, I would have said “Heck
YES! Let’s get married NOW because I can’t wait to start this adventure with
you!”
Rather than dwell on our sacrifice, Let’s look at what we
GET!
1. Adventure: I’ve
ridden around in Strykers, I’ve attended numerous Live Fire Demos, I’ve had the
opportunity to “play” with and fire numerous weapons. I’ve met the President of
the United States. Those are some of my
more exciting adventures. I’ve also had some challenging adventures – they aren’t
necessarily fun, but I’m thankful for the opportunity to realize that I am
tougher than I look and that God really doesn’t give you more than HE can
handle! I’ve been pregnant twice during
deployments. My husband made it home
both times and we had Hallmark Moment reunions. (One was a Christmas
surprise!)
2. Travel: I am moving to Germany. I am not paying for it. That’s right…an all
expense paid trip to tour Europe, complete with my own house, my own bed and my
own car. Do I really need to explain
more?
3. Freedom: A few
years ago, I had the opportunity to interview Joanne Holbrook Patton for an
article. She’s lovely…really, really
lovely. I was so nervous but she was
easy to talk to and so kind to my bumbling interviewer tactics. I will never forget one point she shared with
me about being an Army Spouse. She said
that we have opportunities not available to those in the civilian world. She
described how, across the Military, spouses that see a need in their community come
together to create change or improve their world for the better. For example, the National Military Family
Association was founded by spouses literally stalking Congressional offices to
lobby for Survivor Benefits. Today’s
Family Readiness groups were borne from social groups that units formed to
provide information and social opportunities to the spouses. This really
crystallized for me this past year. I
served on the board for the Fort Bliss spouses club. In the course of my duties,
I found myself standing in an empty old commissary and Mrs. Patton’s words
floated through my head. The building
was in the process of being gutted and rebuilt as a new Thrift shop and
activity center for the post. I was there waiting for my turn to brief the Commanding
General on this project. I had spent the last few months discussing the design,
blueprints and construction with well-educated architects, highly paid
industrial design consultants and electrical engineers. I help run a 501c(3) with a budget of well over $200,000. We gave away about $50,000 annually directly
to people in our community. I was
trusted with steering a construction project with a budget of $100,000. But, I am an unemployed, stay-at-home mom. That’s
one heck of an opportunity!
4. Action Figure Husband:
My husband is a real life action hero.
Not to brag, but he’s a stud. He’s
handsome, well-muscled and fit. And he
has an ethical code that would rival any superhero’s.
5. Passion, Drama, Romance, Suspense: Really, most people have to go to a movie
theater for this kind of stuff! Some of
it is great – like that first jubilant hug and kiss as you welcome your soldier
home from a deployment. Some of it is
not great, such as waiting out that deployment.
There’s suspense and agony, joy and heartache in deployments. But, boy is there Romance! Most couples get one honeymoon period after
their marriage. Military couples get a honeymoon period after long TDY’s, field exercises, deployments and during
R&Rs.
What do you love best about being a Military Spouse?
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