Hunting for Buried Treasure

I know it's time to vacuum under my couches, TV stand, and other furniture when the Lego box hits the half-full mark.  It’s not my favorite chore since it involves this pregnant lady crawling and laying on the floor to peer under furniture, a fair amount of dust and carpet fuzz and the vacuum. It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it!

I’m sitting here  surveying my findings from tonight’s work and thought I’d share the final tally:

10 toy cars (yes, 10...and he didn't notice they were missing)

48 Legos  (that's a full starter package from the store!)

2 Little People  (not my children, the PlaySkool type)

3 pieces of Little People furniture(ditto)

4 balls

2 golf balls  (I blame these on Soldier Boy)

2 books

2 Lincoln Logs

3 fake food items

2 books

1 toy train

2 foam blocks

Bunny Girl’s pink sunsuit    (I have no explanation for this one)

Household 6’s missing croc  (Thank goodness, I've been missing my crocs!)

1 box of alphabet flashcards

1 dirty sock

1 unopened bag of animal crackers (Again...no explanation. At least they were still sealed.)

1 IR flag  (Only in an Army family)

1 name tape (ditto)

Fireworks Magic

We received an invitation from friends to go to the fireworks display here on post this week.  Apparently, our post hasn’t done any kind of Independence Day celebration in about ten years. They decided to change that this year and throw a huge celebration that EVERYONE was excited about.  Everyone except me, of course. 

Go ahead, call me Scrooge and get it over with.  It’s not that I don’t love our country or anything silly like that, I just don’t love Independence Day celebrations.  They’ve always been  hot and crowded. And I’ve spent four times longer in the car leaving the fireworks displays than I did actually watching the display.  It’s just never been worth it to me and I was sure it would be even more miserable now that I had two munchkins to cart around that would likely get tired and grumpy long before we made it home.

Soldier Boy was pretty excited about the outing, despite my objections to it. We packed up and headed over to the park around 7pm. I figured it would be busy already but the temperature starts dropping around 7pm and I was not up for sitting in the heat any longer than necessary.  We met up with friends and staked out a patch of grass for our chairs, picnic blankets, coolers and strollers.  (Bob the Beast was along for the adventure, of course.) 

The local symphony orchestra was set up and began the first half of their concert shortly after we arrived.  We all stood for the playing of the National Anthem and covered our hearts with our hands.  I gestured to Monster Boy to do the same since I’ve been trying to teach him how.  The little man gave me a funny look, turned back towards the orchestra and brought his little arm up in a perfect salute!  My heart about melted as he stood there patiently saluting during the entire song.  I desperately wanted to snap a photo of him, but I didn’t dare be that irreverent during the National Anthem.  It doesn’t matter though, that image is burned into my mind forever. 

We had a pretty large group – four families with a combined kid count of 14!  Yes, do the math; the Hooah family only contributed two to the mix!   Needless to say, the area near our chairs and blankets was pretty active with kids running, jumping, dancing and digging in the dirt.  Monster Boy did all of the above.  Bunny Girl surprised us all and was really into the orchestra.  She stood in the middle of the blanket most of the evening and just danced by herself to the music.  As the sun set and it got later, kids started slowing down or getting more wound up, as in Monster Boy’s case.

The fireworks started with Bunny Girl snuggled on my lap, exhausted but still entranced by the orchestra.  Monster Boy was still running with his friends. Surprisingly, neither one was scared by the explosions.  Bunny Girl snuggled and stared with wide eyes.  Monster Boy watched with his buddies for a while and then came over to snuggle with me.  I didn’t have room for both kiddos and the belly in my chair, so I stretched out on the blanket with each one snuggled to my side. 

It was at that moment that it hit me:  WORTH IT!  It didn’t matter how hot it was earlier, how crowded the park was or how long it took us to get home.  The joy and peace I had laying on that blanket with my babies, seeing the awesome display of fireworks through their eyes for the first time and having whispered conversations about how cool the fireworks were was totally, 100% worth it.

Love, Hamburger Style.

We took the kids out to eat the other night. Predictably, the meal we ordered for the kids to share was not what Monster Boy felt like eating at that particular moment.  So, I did what all good parents do: I told him,“too bad” and calmly enjoy my food while we pretended to ignore his sulking.  As luck would have it, he got over his snit pretty quick that evening and decided to impress us by wolfing down all of his veggies and most of his chicken. After this impressive about face, he strategically took aim at his father’s big, juicy hamburger, which was apparently what he wanted all along.  He said to his father “Daddy, Tink I can have a bite of you buuuguer?”  After Monster Boy’s impressive dinner performance, Soldier Boy couldn’t say no and shared his giant burger. He cut a piece off, bun, tomatoes lettuce and all, and set it on Monster Boy’s plate.  Monster Boy leaned over to Soldier, pressed his face against his shoulder and laid a huge wet kiss on him, followed by a biiiiig hug and he exclaimed, “Oh wow! Thank you, Daddy! Thank you! Daddy yoves me because he sss-ared his buuguer with me!”  

Who know that a few bites of leftover hamburger would generate that much enthusiasm or love?  For those of you that have read Gary Chapman’s“The Five Love Languages” or “The Five Love Languages of Children,” I’ve long suspected that Monster Boy is a “Gifts,” just like his mommy. This has only confirmed it!  Side Note: If you haven’t read these books, I definitely recommend them. It’s a great way to frame how you show your love and appreciation to those you hold dear!

Deployments and Decision Making

Today I saw a decision I made over a year ago, pay off in a very rewarding way.  It was a small decision, something that didn’t seem monumental at the time. However, even tiny decisions can have both positive and negative impacts in large and small ways. This particular decision had some minor negative impacts in the short term but a hugely positive impact in the long run.  It wasn’t a particularly big decision, nothing that required months of research or anything like that, but it was one of those every day dilemmas that I normally would have discussed with Soldier before making a decision.  Unfortunately, he was in Iraq at the time and though we had communication, it was limited and it just wasn’t possible or practical to discuss every single thing with him before deciding. 

This scenario is something faced by all military spouses at some point…whether it’s a field exercise, TDY, a deployment, or even just a range where the soldiers aren’t getting cell signal.  Sometimes these decisions are related to life-altering events: a severe illness, a death in the family, a job change, buying a house.  Sometimes the decisions relate to big financial actions or big parenting dilemmas. But, most frequently, the decisions you will be faced with are ones like mine…small, mundane, every day questions.  Should I let the kids go to so-and-so’s house?  Should I go out to dinner with these gals at that place?  Do we have ice cream before dinner?  Do the kids get to watch this movie?  Should I buy those pillows for the couch?   These are real questions that need to be answered sooner or later, but they don’t necessarily make for great conversation when you do get your soldier’s full attention…whether it’s for 5 minutes on a static-y connection or for 15 minutes before they pass out from a hard day’s work. 

As military couples, we know we must work to make our relationship strong and develop a mutual understanding and respect so that we can survive a deployment.  But, this strength, communication and respect that we foster before they go to the field can help carry those of us left behind in this decision making process.  Can you objectively assess how your spouse would likely react to any of the given issues?  Do you know which issues tend to be “hot button” issues for you both?  Can you objectively relate your spouse’s position on those issues, even if they differ from yours?  This knowledge and perspective, plus using those good old fashioned critical thinking skills, will help you determine when you can make a decision on behalf of you and your spouse, as a couple, on these every day dilemmas.  This may even help you with knowing where the line is on those “bigger” decisions. 

If you aren’t sure you know how your spouse might react to certain situations, take the time to talk with him/her now.  If you know you might have “big” questions coming up, ask your spouse’s thoughts on them now.  My husband and I had to do this quite a bit before his last deployment.  His grandfather had been ill for quite some time, was living in a skilled nursing facility and had been going steadily downhill over the last six months. No one was sure how long he would survive and we knew there was a possibility that Soldier would be deployed when his grandfather passed away.  We talked about whether or not he would want a Red Cross Message sent and whether he would want to try to return home for the funeral. Without having asked, I probably would have sent the message, since that’s what spouses are told to do when there’s a death in the family.  Soldier had a different perspective.  He told me he didn’t want a message sent if we were managing weekly or bi-weekly communication. He explained there was nothing he could do to change the circumstances or to help since his father, uncles and cousins were living in the immediate area and he doubted he’d get a flight back in time for the funeral anyway.  More importantly, I was pregnant with Bunny Girl and he wasn’t willingto use an emergency leave situation or his R & R time going to his grandfather’s funeral when it could mean not being able to come home if I needed him or so he could meet our newborn.  I was touched by his reasoning and honestly, never would have considered the matter that way. 

Through conversations like this and other “what-if” scenarios, I feel that I have a pretty solid understanding of my husband’s perspective. So, last year when I was approached, at separate times, by our parents wanting to take Monster Boy (then 2½) to his first big screen movie experience, I confidently said no.  I explained that, first of all, I thought he was a little too young still, and, more importantly, his father loved movies, loved movie theaters and the big screen experience. Though we’d never discussed it, I knew that Soldier would want to take our little Monster Boy to his first movie.  Neither parent was particularly pleased with my answer, since they felt it wasn’t a big deal and I was being unreasonable.  However, in my heart, I knew what Soldier Boy would want.  During deployments, he missed so much with the kids that a bit of disappointment from our parents would be worth it to save this special adventure for just Daddy and Son.

Soldier took Monster Boy to see Cars 2 today.  He planned their outing out a week ahead and talked about it every night.  Monster Boy was excited about his special adventure with Daddy, but was a little scared of the movie.  They had popcorn, gummy bears and even shared a little soda. (I wasn’t too thrilled about the soda, but I rolled my eyes and let it go.)  Monster Boy loved it and has been talking about the movie, his popcorn and treats and his Daddy Adventure since then.  Soldier told me how fun and special it was for him and it just warmed my heart.

I made the right decision for my family and I am proud that I stood my ground, even when it seemed inconsequential to others.

Meet the Hooahs

Once upon a time, there was a girl and she met a boy. And they fell in love. Well, since they were in high school it was more “Like.” But, like, a major “Like.” Like, she was seriously crushing on him. And he was sorta into her, too. So, they dated and they broke up. A couple of times, because, you know…that’s what you do in high school.  

So, the boy and the girl went away to college and didn’t see each other for a while. They grew up a little, lived a little. And one day, the boy and the girl met again. And they fell in love. For real, this time. The only problem was, the boy was a soldier and was headed to South Korea for a year and the girl was in graduate school in Virginia. Thanks to the wonders of webcams, they stayed in touch and became closer over the year. The love deepened and when the boy came back to Virginia a year later, he asked the girl to marry him.  Actually, he said “How would you feel about being an Army wife?”  The girl said, “I could probably handle it. Are you trying to ask me something?” And so, they were engaged and married six months later. 

At the wedding, we walked through the Saber Arch. I got whacked in the derriere by a saber and heard as I walked away, “Welcome to the Army, Ma’am.” At the time, I knew it was tradition but didn’t understand the full implication and symbolism. I have now come to realize the extent to which marriage to a soldier fully indoctrinates you in all things Army and that sometimes, Army Life kicks you in the butt.

Soldier Boy: The boy grew up to become Soldier Boy. He loves the Army and loves the soldier life, but, like anyone, is occasionally frustrated with his job.  He’s calm, level-headed and steady…all the things you’d want in a leader if you were in the Army. As you might expect, he likes tanks, big machinery, big guns and health/fitness. (CrossFit cult, anyone?) But, he has a softer side: he’s creative, artistic and musically inclined.  He’s also bizarrely knowledgeable about pop culture and related trivia, something he shames Household 6 with regularly. And, of course, he’s a devoted father…the kids always cheer when Daddy walks in at the end of the day.

Household 6: For those of you non-Army folks, Household 6 is a common joke among military families. The “6” designation is traditionally used in call signs to refer to the unit commander, so wives earn the title of Household 6 by commanding their home and their family forces with pride. I suppose I’d probably be considered a stereotypical Army wife. I’m a stay-at-home Mom, by choice. I’m a joiner and a helper, so I can’t help but to get involved wherever we are. I do volunteer work with our Family Readiness Group (FRG, henceforth) and various other groups around post. I’m a board member for the Officer and Civilian Spouses Club (OCSA) and for the Protestant Women of Chapel (PWOC). I like Hail and Farewells, Balls, Unit Coffee Groups and other social opportunities. I’m also a Representative for the National Military Family Association. So, though I might be a stereotype, I still have dreams, ambitions and plans for myself and I’m pretty determined to make them happen when the time is right. If only I could decide what I want to be when I grow up. 

Monster Boy: So called, because, like many first children with their parents undivided attention, he was such a good, sweet, friendly baby. So good, in fact, that, like many other first-time parents, we deluded ourselves that our child was so perfect and we were such awesome parents that we should have a whole pack of kids! 4, 5, 6?  Sure!!! Then, right around the time Baby #2 arrived and Monster Boy turned two, that all came crashing down! We love our little Monster Boy and the name has stuck, not because of his behavior or lack-thereof, but because he embraces all things MONSTER. In his world, louder, stronger, faster and bigger is always better. His inspiration for the day varies, a dinosaur, a lion, tiger, monster truck, firetruck, or rocket ship, but the theme is always the same: Big, LOUD, FAST! The child does not lack in imagination. Monster Boy is currently three and a half.

Bunny Girl – Bunny girl earned her moniker in utero, courtesy of her big brother, Monster Boy. We had a book about a bunny with lots of brothers and sisters, so when we asked him if he wanted a brother or a sister, he naturally assumed he was getting a bunny. The name stuck since she was quite active and jumped around incessantly in the womb. After she arrived, she was this adorable round, chubby, fat-cheeked baby that just wanted to be snuggled. She’s one and a half years old now. We are learning the dangers of underestimating the younger one. She’s quiet and innocent looking, but underneath those sweet round cheeks is a little mischievous imp. She’s far too clever for her mother’s peace of mind and much too fast on her feet already. 

H3 – As in, Baby Hooah #3. We don’t know if H3 is a boy or a girl and we’re seriously struggling in creating a list of names for the poor child. Regardless, we’re pretty excited that H3 is arriving in November 2011. Monster Boy is totally on board with the idea of a new baby, but Bunny Girl has no clue what’s going on yet! Soldier and I are pretty excited that H3 will be our first child to NOT be born during a deployment. This is our third child, but Soldier’s first real newborn experience. (Sorry Soldier, 9 days on R & R does not count as a real newborn experience.) When folks find out we are expecting baby #3, generally the next question is, “How many kids are you going to have?” So, to preempt that question, the answer is: I have no clue but we’ll keep you posted.