I've had some blog ideas neatly organized in Evernote (whom I love dearly and yes, my ever reliable Evernote is a person to me.) I was flipping through them today since I felt like writing and had a quiet moment. I saw a note on my list about doing a baby update. I scrolled through my blog posts with the sinking realization that I had not updated my nearly non-existent and mostly hypothetical blog audience that H4 will be joining our family in early December. Whoops.
So, to my dear sweet H4, Mama is sorry! Failing to blog about you does not mean I love you less. If you read this years from now, please know that I totally made you "Facebook Official" when we were nine weeks pregnant and you are the subject of many status updates, text messages to Grammie and conversations between your siblings. (They are FASCINATED with you and very excited to meet you!) Also, please know that practically anyone that reads this blog already knows me and is probably related to us or on my Facebook page.
We're in Week 30 or 31, depending on who is counting. The calendar method used by the US doctors puts me at 31 weeks. The ultrasound and common-sense approach used by the German doctors says 20 weeks. One week difference doesn't sound like much, but with this pregnancy it is! I prefer the later due date since I know my track record with having babies on or before my so-called due date is nil. I've shown up for my 40 or 41 week checks with the midwife and she's found a "Gone Fishing" sign on my uterus. Really, we don't "progress" well. I'm also in favor the later due date because the doctors I'm seeing here in Kansas are strongly pushing for an early delivery.
The difference between the German OB and the US OBs is remarkable. The German OB was pretty much unconcerned about my prior placental abruption. His words were "Well, yes. That is a small risk. It will happen or it will not happen, but we can't predict it or stop it. We'll just treat it quickly if it happens and you know the signs now so you'll know what is happening." End of story. The OB practice here in the States is much more concerned about what happened. They've been over my medical records, ordered a bunch of tests, asked me a million questions about my history and came to the definitive conclusion that they have no idea why it happened. On one hand they say the risk of a second occurrence is nearly as small as the risk the first time and there's no reason to expect it will happen again. On the other hand, it happened and they don't know why, so they're afraid it might happen again. Personally, I think I prefer the German attitude.
The OBs are really pushing me for an early delivery. They say that in terms of risk management, it's important to avoid the time frame of the last abruption. (Mine was at 40 weeks and 4 days, pretty late in the game! A real blessing for DeeDee, so at least she was a big, strong, well-developed sick baby!) Depending on the doctor, I've been pushed for a scheduled c-section as early as 38 weeks and as late as 40 weeks. One of the providers is willing to attempt a VBAC with me but still wants to induce early. (More on the VBAC induction later!) The doctors have said their practice is "very conservative" which I take to mean "highly risk averse." They very much prefers the control and "neat" approach of scheduled c-sections for repeat offenders like myself and especially one with an abruption and large babies in her medical history.
The doctors may think I'm unimpressed by the risk or severity of what happened since I am highly resistant to their risk mitigation efforts. The reality is that both Soldier and I have had a very strong conviction that H4 belonged to our family well before he was conceived. We struggled with the risk, the fear and worry for months before obeying. So, in a nutshell, we're over it. I firmly believe this will be a nice boring pregnancy and delivery and that H4 and I will come through safe and sound. From a logic standpoint, I don't see the need to worry about an outcome the doctors have said is so unlikely and minimal. I think H4 is probably safer in my belly until he's good and ready to come out than pushing things to happen earlier than necessary.
For now, I'm sticking with an OB in the practice that seems more willing to compromise and is frank about her concerns and struggles in weighing my risks and delivery plans. We've struck a compromise on the due date: halfway between the later due date I prefer and the earlier calendar-method due date. She's also on board with attempting a VBAC with me and waiting to attempt an "induction" until our compromised due date, which I appreciate. I'm still not entirely on board with this plan since the "induction" isn't a true induction. Apparently, the cervical gels and pitocin drugs are not used on patients with prior c-sections. So, the plan is to break my water and wait 24 hours in the hospital and see if any contractions start. If contractions start on their own, small doses of pitocin are used to "augment" labor. There are two problems with this plan, as I see it. One is that I have to be somewhat dilated (The OB is hoping for a good 3 cm) to break the water. My track record for dilating early is seriously NOT good. (Remember the "Gone Fishing" sign?) The other problem is that once the amniotic membrane is ruptured, there's pretty much a countdown started on delivery. 24 hours is generally the benchmark for a decision. If I'm not in some hot 'n heavy labor by then, they will move to a c-section because of the risk of infection from the open amniotic sac. (This risk, by the way, is highly debated in natural birth circles and is not conclusive, in my assessment.) So....I feel like there's still a very good chance that I could end up on the OR table. I was NOT a fan of the first c-section and I really don't want one again. (Really....I feel like that should be saved for a life or death situation!)
So, there's the baby update for 30 or 31 or 30.5 weeks and counting! Everyone is happy and healthy. I'm confident and calm most of the time, but I have made sure my Living Will and Medical Power of Attorney papers are up-to-date and accurate. I've also used this as an opportunity to teach MonsterBoy some "Emergency Preparedness" skills like reciting his home address, dialing 911 on the house phone, dialing Soldier, Grammie or Grandpa on my cell phone, etc.
And to Baby H4....We love you and can't wait to see your sweet face! (We know he's a BOY but he hid is face very well in every ultrasound!)
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Friday, September 27, 2013
Made it to Fall Break!
Today marks the end of our first 8 weeks of home school. When I planned our schedule for this year, I opted to start a little early and do 8 weeks on and 1 week off, to give us (ME!) a break and time to regroup, if needed. No joke, I think I'm more giddy about the idea of week off than the kiddos!
As I sit here at the end of our 8 week session, I feel OK with what we have done. We are on schedule, according to our curriculum schedules. Monster Boy is hitting all of his benchmarks and doing well on his assessments. Bunny Girl is doing MUCH better with the curriculum changes we made a few weeks ago. The ABEKA K4 moves at a pace that is much more suited to her current level and needs and she is GLOWING with good results now!
We're done with swim lessons for this fall, which is a wonderful thing! I had hoped to continue through November, but it really, really makes our week easier to not run back and forth to the pool twice a week. That, combined with a small change to how our daily routine goes, has made a WORLD of difference in our ability to get work done, with smiles all around! Monster Boy and I are now doing Phonics and Math after lunch, as soon as the girlies go down for their nap. We originally were doing this in the morning, since I thought Bunny Girl would listen in. However, it's very clear that he is moving much faster in those subjects than she is ready for. I also realized that I was fielding so many interruptions from the girls that it was taking us 2 to 2.5 hours to get through the lessons that should have taken an hour, MAX. Now, we do our Bible lesson together in the morning, then our read-aloud books, history and some science. Bunny Girl comes and goes as she feels like. We typically have time for an art project and some writing before lunch. It's awesome!
Our plans for this week are to do a fun day-trip somewhere. (Tossing around a couple of ideas, depending on the weather! This prego much prefers air conditioning if it's above 85 degrees outside!) We also have a couple of playdates and lunches planned. I've got a doctor's appointment, a board meeting and a (hopefully) brief training meeting to attend. I do plan to sneak some school-ish stuff in this week. Monster Boy could stand to have some extra Math Facts practice and Bunny Girl could always use some reinforcement of her letters!
So...off we go to fall break! Happy Fall, y'all!
As I sit here at the end of our 8 week session, I feel OK with what we have done. We are on schedule, according to our curriculum schedules. Monster Boy is hitting all of his benchmarks and doing well on his assessments. Bunny Girl is doing MUCH better with the curriculum changes we made a few weeks ago. The ABEKA K4 moves at a pace that is much more suited to her current level and needs and she is GLOWING with good results now!
We're done with swim lessons for this fall, which is a wonderful thing! I had hoped to continue through November, but it really, really makes our week easier to not run back and forth to the pool twice a week. That, combined with a small change to how our daily routine goes, has made a WORLD of difference in our ability to get work done, with smiles all around! Monster Boy and I are now doing Phonics and Math after lunch, as soon as the girlies go down for their nap. We originally were doing this in the morning, since I thought Bunny Girl would listen in. However, it's very clear that he is moving much faster in those subjects than she is ready for. I also realized that I was fielding so many interruptions from the girls that it was taking us 2 to 2.5 hours to get through the lessons that should have taken an hour, MAX. Now, we do our Bible lesson together in the morning, then our read-aloud books, history and some science. Bunny Girl comes and goes as she feels like. We typically have time for an art project and some writing before lunch. It's awesome!
Our plans for this week are to do a fun day-trip somewhere. (Tossing around a couple of ideas, depending on the weather! This prego much prefers air conditioning if it's above 85 degrees outside!) We also have a couple of playdates and lunches planned. I've got a doctor's appointment, a board meeting and a (hopefully) brief training meeting to attend. I do plan to sneak some school-ish stuff in this week. Monster Boy could stand to have some extra Math Facts practice and Bunny Girl could always use some reinforcement of her letters!
So...off we go to fall break! Happy Fall, y'all!
Tuesday, September 17, 2013
The BEST year of your life...?
I've been posting a LOT about home school, so I thought I'd do an Army-ish update. As you know, we are currently at a "school" assignment. It's about a nine month course and Soldier's class is conveniently synced with the traditional school year. Students roll into town in July, class starts in August, graduation is in early June and everyone leaves town by the end of June.
In terms of his career, this is an important assignment and a great opportunity for professional development. In fact, military friends (Soldiers and Spouses alike) raved about this assignment and called it :the BEST year of their life. First of all, I love all my friends, but I really, really HOPE that a year of Army schooling is not the Best Year of My Life. Secondly, I began to hear this phrase so much that it felt like a punchline to a joke I didn't know yet.
As of right now, I'm thinking I was right and that I've figured out the joke. This is NOT the best year of our lives and maybe not even the best year of our Army life. So far, this year is kind of a bummer. (Though, I keep getting told that it gets better. We'll see if I still feel the same way in January or March.) In fact, I'm very discouraged on Army Life right now and Soldier's Army career, which is a HUGE switch for me. (See the blog title, yeah, exactly.) But, here's what I'm seeing:
1. The Army is becoming very competitive, which is great in some ways. And horrible in other ways. Soldiers are being told going into this course that if they are not the #1 ranked officer in their OERs, they should say good-bye to dreams of battalion commands and careers beyond the next year or two.
2. The party line for this school is "School comes first, then your family, then hobbies/education/etc." I think MANY of us that have gone through multiple deployments will have a problem with this. YES, school is important but, seriously, no one is going to die if someone misses a class or a test. I've seen this played out in several ways. Soldier was denied a pass to travel and pick up my car when it arrived because repeating Sexual Harassment training for the second time in six monhts was more urgent. Families that are entitled to 10 days of Paternity Leave for adoption or the birth of a child are being told "Well, legally, we're required to give you the time off. But you still have to complete all of your assignments and tests on time, not late and not early." Overall, we are getting the message that family is NOT a priority.
3. Future assignments are a hot button topic. We (the spouses) all know that the next key assignment involves long hours, sleeping on cots in the office and Blackberries ringing at all hours of the night. We've JUST come off of two really busy jobs, deployments, plus having a bunch of babies. Germany was supposed to be our "break" and that never materialized in our whirlwind semester abroad.
Overall, the tone and feeling I'm getting is a retro one: "If the Army wanted you to have a family, you would have been issued one." I don't like what this forecasts for Soldier's future Army Career and, quite honestly, it has me questioning whether or not Army Life is worth it. Job Stability, health care benefits, retirement plans were all key benefits to staying in the Army, but all of these have been threatened recently due to political circumstances. Now, the outlook for our family is looking pretty bleak, too. I'm rally starting to wonder if our friends that have ETS'd made the better choice.
In terms of his career, this is an important assignment and a great opportunity for professional development. In fact, military friends (Soldiers and Spouses alike) raved about this assignment and called it :the BEST year of their life. First of all, I love all my friends, but I really, really HOPE that a year of Army schooling is not the Best Year of My Life. Secondly, I began to hear this phrase so much that it felt like a punchline to a joke I didn't know yet.
As of right now, I'm thinking I was right and that I've figured out the joke. This is NOT the best year of our lives and maybe not even the best year of our Army life. So far, this year is kind of a bummer. (Though, I keep getting told that it gets better. We'll see if I still feel the same way in January or March.) In fact, I'm very discouraged on Army Life right now and Soldier's Army career, which is a HUGE switch for me. (See the blog title, yeah, exactly.) But, here's what I'm seeing:
1. The Army is becoming very competitive, which is great in some ways. And horrible in other ways. Soldiers are being told going into this course that if they are not the #1 ranked officer in their OERs, they should say good-bye to dreams of battalion commands and careers beyond the next year or two.
2. The party line for this school is "School comes first, then your family, then hobbies/education/etc." I think MANY of us that have gone through multiple deployments will have a problem with this. YES, school is important but, seriously, no one is going to die if someone misses a class or a test. I've seen this played out in several ways. Soldier was denied a pass to travel and pick up my car when it arrived because repeating Sexual Harassment training for the second time in six monhts was more urgent. Families that are entitled to 10 days of Paternity Leave for adoption or the birth of a child are being told "Well, legally, we're required to give you the time off. But you still have to complete all of your assignments and tests on time, not late and not early." Overall, we are getting the message that family is NOT a priority.
3. Future assignments are a hot button topic. We (the spouses) all know that the next key assignment involves long hours, sleeping on cots in the office and Blackberries ringing at all hours of the night. We've JUST come off of two really busy jobs, deployments, plus having a bunch of babies. Germany was supposed to be our "break" and that never materialized in our whirlwind semester abroad.
Overall, the tone and feeling I'm getting is a retro one: "If the Army wanted you to have a family, you would have been issued one." I don't like what this forecasts for Soldier's future Army Career and, quite honestly, it has me questioning whether or not Army Life is worth it. Job Stability, health care benefits, retirement plans were all key benefits to staying in the Army, but all of these have been threatened recently due to political circumstances. Now, the outlook for our family is looking pretty bleak, too. I'm rally starting to wonder if our friends that have ETS'd made the better choice.
Monday, September 9, 2013
Hard Won Victory!
On Sunday, when we picked up BunnyGirl from Children's Church, she came out to show off her artwork from that morning. When I admired her art, my motherly admiration turned to shock when I realized she had written her name at the top of her paper. All. By. Herself. Seriously. I was simply blown away. She had the right letters, in the right order, in a straight line and it was quite legible. She even remembered to capitalize the first letter.
Look, I know my kid is not the first to write her name. But, I'm thrilled over this. We have LABORED, and I mean HARD LABOR, over our handwriting for the last six weeks. There were tears, frustration and anger; from her, from me, from both of us sometimes. I struggled with explaining things to her. She struggled with understanding what I wanted. We're just both so new to this that we're learning together. She has a tremendous heart and kept trying, even when she was discouraged and frustrated. Even when I begged her to give it a break because I was pulling my hair out over the letter A that looked more like an H. She's got the desire to learn and WANTS to do so much but she just needs some foundation first. I've found teaching her cute little preschool self much harder than the Kinder and 1st Grade work I'm doing with MonsterBoy and I think it's because she wants to race ahead and I forget that she needs the basics. We struggled so much that I literally could not bring myself to make the phone call withdrawing her from the very popular preschool program until the week after school started. (Yes, I'm terrible and I'm very sorry to the parents that we waiting and hoping for her coveted morning 3yo slot!)
So, tonight I celebrate this victory, a neat little name written at the top of her paper. I'm so proud of my determined little BunnyGirl.
Look, I know my kid is not the first to write her name. But, I'm thrilled over this. We have LABORED, and I mean HARD LABOR, over our handwriting for the last six weeks. There were tears, frustration and anger; from her, from me, from both of us sometimes. I struggled with explaining things to her. She struggled with understanding what I wanted. We're just both so new to this that we're learning together. She has a tremendous heart and kept trying, even when she was discouraged and frustrated. Even when I begged her to give it a break because I was pulling my hair out over the letter A that looked more like an H. She's got the desire to learn and WANTS to do so much but she just needs some foundation first. I've found teaching her cute little preschool self much harder than the Kinder and 1st Grade work I'm doing with MonsterBoy and I think it's because she wants to race ahead and I forget that she needs the basics. We struggled so much that I literally could not bring myself to make the phone call withdrawing her from the very popular preschool program until the week after school started. (Yes, I'm terrible and I'm very sorry to the parents that we waiting and hoping for her coveted morning 3yo slot!)
So, tonight I celebrate this victory, a neat little name written at the top of her paper. I'm so proud of my determined little BunnyGirl.
Sunday, September 8, 2013
Welcome to the Neighborhood, Where's your next Duty Station?
We've been in our current home for just over two months. This is a school assignment so pretty much everyone plans on being a short-timer around here. We arrived in July, class started in August. Graduation will be in June and everyone hits the road to their next duty station by July 1st, to make room for the new bunch. The mamas in our neighborhood tend to gather at the playground in the mornings and I can't help but laugh at how we complain about still needing to get those last couple of boxes out of the house in one breath and discuss our hopes or plans for the next duty station in the next breath.
The "next PCS" is so much a part of our reality that it seems totally normal to have those discussions. Even our kiddos accept this reality; MonsterBoy has asked how long we'll be in this house and whether or not he can have his own bedroom at the next house. He wasn't worried, just curious about it. I can't imagine what a "normal" person must think of this.
Despite this sense of normal, the camaraderie over our frequent moves and the excitement of the thrill to come, I've realized we need to be careful to live HERE and NOW. It's tempting to spend our time daydreaming about what's coming, planning our strategy for the next PCS road trip, and fantasizing that this move will be the one where we get The House. In doing that, we may miss fun opportunities to enjoy the moments here: peace and contentment of our happy little home, the charm of the town you currently live in and the memories you can make here and now.
I'm a planner by nature, but I am really, really trying to SLOW DOWN our pace here, even if it's just home for a year, to focus on family memories, make traditions and savoring the experience.
The "next PCS" is so much a part of our reality that it seems totally normal to have those discussions. Even our kiddos accept this reality; MonsterBoy has asked how long we'll be in this house and whether or not he can have his own bedroom at the next house. He wasn't worried, just curious about it. I can't imagine what a "normal" person must think of this.
Despite this sense of normal, the camaraderie over our frequent moves and the excitement of the thrill to come, I've realized we need to be careful to live HERE and NOW. It's tempting to spend our time daydreaming about what's coming, planning our strategy for the next PCS road trip, and fantasizing that this move will be the one where we get The House. In doing that, we may miss fun opportunities to enjoy the moments here: peace and contentment of our happy little home, the charm of the town you currently live in and the memories you can make here and now.
I'm a planner by nature, but I am really, really trying to SLOW DOWN our pace here, even if it's just home for a year, to focus on family memories, make traditions and savoring the experience.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Suddenly September
Today is September 3rd. Labor Day has come and gone. Though the temps here in Kansas are still BLAZING, Autumn is coming. (Apparently.) I'm happy to mark four weeks of successful home schooling in our house. We had some WINS and we had some flops, but we're still trucking.
I've joked to Soldier and a few others that we're doing the school work but I wasn't really sure if LEARNING was happening. Then, one day during week three, Monster Boy came to me with an apple. The apple had a wedge in it he had painstakingly carved out with a kid-safe knife. He points to the apple and says "Look, Mom! This apple is like the Earth! It has layers. The skin is like the ground we stand on, then there's the big layer in the middle and the core at the center." No joke, I seriously wanted to jump around on my couch Tom-Cruise-on-Oprah-Style and shout "LEARNING IS HAPPENING!!!!" I did manage to refrain myself because, let's be honest: If I started jumping on the couch, Monster Boy would be the first to pick up that torch!
Since then, I've been so gratified to see other signs that what we are doing is WORKING. It's amazing to see this process unfold. I still think we (I) have a lot to do and a long way to go. I'd like to be MORE hands on for Monster Boy. By nature, I am very routine and methodical. That is not his personality and I need to do better with that. I also feel like we are blowing through the lessons very quickly and that they might be a little easy for him. I've gone back and forth on this: Should we add in more since he seems interested? Or do I ride it out since the beginning of the year usually contains some review from the previous year and hope we get to new/more challenging material sooner? I'm also struggling with a depth vs breadth question. He's fascinated by our history and science books. I could go Pinterest crazy and we could slow our curriculum down and spend DAYS adding in project and extra exploration. Sugar cube pyramids for the Egyptian lessons? Construct a Viking Longboat? A Bazillion Science Experiments? I think he'd love those those and our curriculum includes some. But, do I do more? Even more, MORE? How much is "enough?" My sensible (and lazy/Pinterest-hating) side says to take a chill pill...this is Kindergarten: we're looking for general exposure not in-depth analysis. I also believe that free play, art exploration, and just being a BOY is important and normal. Plus, I really hate Pinterest.
Bunny Girl is an interesting case. She surprised me by her intense desire to learn and do what brother is doing. She started off strong, so I gave her the same work as Monster Boy. She hung in there for about 10 days and sometime during week three, her sweet three-year-old brain became full and she just stopped retaining info. I suspect two problems: I jumped ahead too far for her and we moved too fast. She lacked some foundation skills that Monster Boy has. Her number and letter identification is hit-or-miss, so the Kindergarten Phonics and Numbers we were using was just too much. But, I LOVE her determination for trying. I spent the last two weeks trying to "modify" our lessons for her and make-up activities to supplement, but it just wasn't working. She really LOVES Monster Boys colorful worksheets from Abeka. This probably falls under the category of rookie mistake, but I had purchased an extra set of K workbooks when she showed an interest. We tried to use them over the last two weeks but I just felt like there was no benefit and that I was "wasting" worksheets that should be totally appropriate for her next year. So, I've pulled her stash of the K books from the shelves and ordered (yet another) set of workbooks for her but in the K4 level. This seems to be more number/letter recognition and a teeny bit of beginning phonics and math concepts. I considered the 3yo books for her, but she's almost four and, based on the descriptions, I really thought she'd be bored. (Plus...the description said it included finger paint activities. Strikes fear in my heart.)
DeeDee is still a blessed third child. Mostly content to play by herself while we are schooling or wander in for snuggles. I'm trying to be intentional about giving her some extra one on one time each day for play and snuggles. My reward is seeing her vocabulary blossom. She's cracking us up with all the new words and phrases she's throwing at is. Our newest favorite is to ask "Who is DeeDee?" while looking around the room at everyone. She slaps her hands to herself, puffs out her chest and announces: "ME!!!" in the sweetest, clearest little baby voice. Love it! We recently purchased a toddler bed for her and will be trying it out in the next two weeks or so. Mayhem and mischief are sure to follow.
I feel like we are still "learning" our new routines. Each week, a new activity has started. Monster Boy started Soccer two weeks ago. Both kiddos started a Wednesday afternoon children's ministry at our church that they are loving and we joined a neighborhood Bible study on Wednesday evenings. The kiddos are also doing swim lessons on Monday and Wednesday mornings. This week we start Acrobatics for Monster Boy and Ballet and Tap classes for Bunny Girl. I made it two months here in KS before I opened my darn mouth to volunteer for things. So, I'm co-facilitating a bible study this semester for PWOC and have accepted a board position for the spouses' club here. Our days feel really crazy right now, but I keep telling myself we just need to get into the swing of things. (Or last until November 1, when soccer and swim take a break for the winter!)
I think the hardest part right now, aside from time management, is my physical limitations. I'm getting round and slooooow. Climbing around on the floor during our school time is getting uncomfortable. I've also have some painful leg swelling and vein issues going on. (Translation: I'm only really comfortable when I'm laying on the couch with my feet resting high on a pillow. Guess how often that happens. Right-o.) I'm managing to stay up on laundry which is a minor miracle. House cleaning is hit or miss. Dinners get made (sometimes) but they are seriously boring and uninspired. Soldier is busy with studying for his Army classes and his Master's classes; he's struggling to balance home time, study time and finding some time for the gym. (You know it's bad when there's no gym time for him. CAUTION: Tread lightly!)
So, my goals for September are:
- Get a little messier in school for Monster Boy
- Strike a better balance for Bunny Girl
- Transition DeeDee to a toddler bed
- Try to balance the family schedule/routine
- Try out the very ugly and very thick compression stockings that arrived today. (Yes, I know. The Shame. But, seriously, desperate times call for desperate measures.)
I've joked to Soldier and a few others that we're doing the school work but I wasn't really sure if LEARNING was happening. Then, one day during week three, Monster Boy came to me with an apple. The apple had a wedge in it he had painstakingly carved out with a kid-safe knife. He points to the apple and says "Look, Mom! This apple is like the Earth! It has layers. The skin is like the ground we stand on, then there's the big layer in the middle and the core at the center." No joke, I seriously wanted to jump around on my couch Tom-Cruise-on-Oprah-Style and shout "LEARNING IS HAPPENING!!!!" I did manage to refrain myself because, let's be honest: If I started jumping on the couch, Monster Boy would be the first to pick up that torch!
Since then, I've been so gratified to see other signs that what we are doing is WORKING. It's amazing to see this process unfold. I still think we (I) have a lot to do and a long way to go. I'd like to be MORE hands on for Monster Boy. By nature, I am very routine and methodical. That is not his personality and I need to do better with that. I also feel like we are blowing through the lessons very quickly and that they might be a little easy for him. I've gone back and forth on this: Should we add in more since he seems interested? Or do I ride it out since the beginning of the year usually contains some review from the previous year and hope we get to new/more challenging material sooner? I'm also struggling with a depth vs breadth question. He's fascinated by our history and science books. I could go Pinterest crazy and we could slow our curriculum down and spend DAYS adding in project and extra exploration. Sugar cube pyramids for the Egyptian lessons? Construct a Viking Longboat? A Bazillion Science Experiments? I think he'd love those those and our curriculum includes some. But, do I do more? Even more, MORE? How much is "enough?" My sensible (and lazy/Pinterest-hating) side says to take a chill pill...this is Kindergarten: we're looking for general exposure not in-depth analysis. I also believe that free play, art exploration, and just being a BOY is important and normal. Plus, I really hate Pinterest.
Bunny Girl is an interesting case. She surprised me by her intense desire to learn and do what brother is doing. She started off strong, so I gave her the same work as Monster Boy. She hung in there for about 10 days and sometime during week three, her sweet three-year-old brain became full and she just stopped retaining info. I suspect two problems: I jumped ahead too far for her and we moved too fast. She lacked some foundation skills that Monster Boy has. Her number and letter identification is hit-or-miss, so the Kindergarten Phonics and Numbers we were using was just too much. But, I LOVE her determination for trying. I spent the last two weeks trying to "modify" our lessons for her and make-up activities to supplement, but it just wasn't working. She really LOVES Monster Boys colorful worksheets from Abeka. This probably falls under the category of rookie mistake, but I had purchased an extra set of K workbooks when she showed an interest. We tried to use them over the last two weeks but I just felt like there was no benefit and that I was "wasting" worksheets that should be totally appropriate for her next year. So, I've pulled her stash of the K books from the shelves and ordered (yet another) set of workbooks for her but in the K4 level. This seems to be more number/letter recognition and a teeny bit of beginning phonics and math concepts. I considered the 3yo books for her, but she's almost four and, based on the descriptions, I really thought she'd be bored. (Plus...the description said it included finger paint activities. Strikes fear in my heart.)
DeeDee is still a blessed third child. Mostly content to play by herself while we are schooling or wander in for snuggles. I'm trying to be intentional about giving her some extra one on one time each day for play and snuggles. My reward is seeing her vocabulary blossom. She's cracking us up with all the new words and phrases she's throwing at is. Our newest favorite is to ask "Who is DeeDee?" while looking around the room at everyone. She slaps her hands to herself, puffs out her chest and announces: "ME!!!" in the sweetest, clearest little baby voice. Love it! We recently purchased a toddler bed for her and will be trying it out in the next two weeks or so. Mayhem and mischief are sure to follow.
I feel like we are still "learning" our new routines. Each week, a new activity has started. Monster Boy started Soccer two weeks ago. Both kiddos started a Wednesday afternoon children's ministry at our church that they are loving and we joined a neighborhood Bible study on Wednesday evenings. The kiddos are also doing swim lessons on Monday and Wednesday mornings. This week we start Acrobatics for Monster Boy and Ballet and Tap classes for Bunny Girl. I made it two months here in KS before I opened my darn mouth to volunteer for things. So, I'm co-facilitating a bible study this semester for PWOC and have accepted a board position for the spouses' club here. Our days feel really crazy right now, but I keep telling myself we just need to get into the swing of things. (Or last until November 1, when soccer and swim take a break for the winter!)
I think the hardest part right now, aside from time management, is my physical limitations. I'm getting round and slooooow. Climbing around on the floor during our school time is getting uncomfortable. I've also have some painful leg swelling and vein issues going on. (Translation: I'm only really comfortable when I'm laying on the couch with my feet resting high on a pillow. Guess how often that happens. Right-o.) I'm managing to stay up on laundry which is a minor miracle. House cleaning is hit or miss. Dinners get made (sometimes) but they are seriously boring and uninspired. Soldier is busy with studying for his Army classes and his Master's classes; he's struggling to balance home time, study time and finding some time for the gym. (You know it's bad when there's no gym time for him. CAUTION: Tread lightly!)
So, my goals for September are:
- Get a little messier in school for Monster Boy
- Strike a better balance for Bunny Girl
- Transition DeeDee to a toddler bed
- Try to balance the family schedule/routine
- Try out the very ugly and very thick compression stockings that arrived today. (Yes, I know. The Shame. But, seriously, desperate times call for desperate measures.)
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Panic!
In case you were wondering, it took exactly seven days of home school for panic to set it. It also happens to be the day that public school starts in our area. Coincidence? Probably not!
Yesterday, as we were cruising to swim lessons, Monster Boy asked me when he would be starting Kindergarten.
Uhhhh. What?
"We already started Kindergarten, honey. That's what we are going in Mommy School."
"No, Mama. When am I going to the big school with all the other kids???"
I did my best to explain that there are many ways to go to school: one is going to the big school and another is doing school at home with Mommy. I can't help but feel that the conversation didn't go well because he seemed disappointed. Now, perhaps he was just miffed he didn't get a spiffy new backpack or a ride on the big yellow bus. I don't know. I wanted to be so careful in my answer because I didn't want to paint either option in a better light, give him false fears of going to school without mommy, or anything like that. In the end, it was enough to trigger a massive onslaught of Mommy-Anxiety.
I've spent the last 24 hours in a mild to moderate state of anxiety over various related and unrelated worries. (Because you know anxiety is not rational.)
What if he WANTS to be in school with other kids?
What if he would actually assimilate just fine and I'm hovering?
How do I know he's actually learning anything?
Why did I commit to this if I wasn't sure I could do it forever? Isn't that mean to throw him in with the sharks later? (Yes, I know...comparing elementary, middle or high school students to sharks is unfair. Well, maybe not middle schoolers; 13 year olds can be viscous.)
Why did I think I could manage this?
Coinciding with this anxiety episode were a couple of things that magnified the problem:
The First Day of school at public schools. (Feels like the point of no return. He missed the first day of school. Sh*t just got real.)
Soldier decided to add in a Master's Program to this year of intensive and time-consuming Army study. (Before I was thinking I'd be on my own a lot this year. Now I KNOW it.)
I had to fire our housekeeper. (Frivolous, yes. But, I did get some confidence in knowing I'd have a little bit of help.)
I "overheard" (in the "showed up on my Facebook timeline" sense) a close relative making some very pointed and hurtful remarks about homeschooling.
Finally, toss in a hefty does of pregnancy hormones and you've got a hot mess. Our day of school went exceptionally well, despite my worries and emotional state. I'm feeling VERY overwhelmed and teary. (I blame hormones for those annoying tears!) I'm praying that I can regain my confidence in the decision we made and that it was the right one.
Confession: While I wrote this, I binge ate a bowl of pita chips and hummus, a bowl of blueberry cobbler and three chocolate chip cookies. Gross food comfort.
Yesterday, as we were cruising to swim lessons, Monster Boy asked me when he would be starting Kindergarten.
Uhhhh. What?
"We already started Kindergarten, honey. That's what we are going in Mommy School."
"No, Mama. When am I going to the big school with all the other kids???"
I did my best to explain that there are many ways to go to school: one is going to the big school and another is doing school at home with Mommy. I can't help but feel that the conversation didn't go well because he seemed disappointed. Now, perhaps he was just miffed he didn't get a spiffy new backpack or a ride on the big yellow bus. I don't know. I wanted to be so careful in my answer because I didn't want to paint either option in a better light, give him false fears of going to school without mommy, or anything like that. In the end, it was enough to trigger a massive onslaught of Mommy-Anxiety.
I've spent the last 24 hours in a mild to moderate state of anxiety over various related and unrelated worries. (Because you know anxiety is not rational.)
What if he WANTS to be in school with other kids?
What if he would actually assimilate just fine and I'm hovering?
How do I know he's actually learning anything?
Why did I commit to this if I wasn't sure I could do it forever? Isn't that mean to throw him in with the sharks later? (Yes, I know...comparing elementary, middle or high school students to sharks is unfair. Well, maybe not middle schoolers; 13 year olds can be viscous.)
Why did I think I could manage this?
Coinciding with this anxiety episode were a couple of things that magnified the problem:
The First Day of school at public schools. (Feels like the point of no return. He missed the first day of school. Sh*t just got real.)
Soldier decided to add in a Master's Program to this year of intensive and time-consuming Army study. (Before I was thinking I'd be on my own a lot this year. Now I KNOW it.)
I had to fire our housekeeper. (Frivolous, yes. But, I did get some confidence in knowing I'd have a little bit of help.)
I "overheard" (in the "showed up on my Facebook timeline" sense) a close relative making some very pointed and hurtful remarks about homeschooling.
Finally, toss in a hefty does of pregnancy hormones and you've got a hot mess. Our day of school went exceptionally well, despite my worries and emotional state. I'm feeling VERY overwhelmed and teary. (I blame hormones for those annoying tears!) I'm praying that I can regain my confidence in the decision we made and that it was the right one.
Confession: While I wrote this, I binge ate a bowl of pita chips and hummus, a bowl of blueberry cobbler and three chocolate chip cookies. Gross food comfort.
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